okay...this past weekend, my fiance and i had our wedding at the sheraton...this was our itinerary:
Itinerary [*Valet your car. Let them know you’re here for the S*/H**** wedding. Valet will be comped.]
Lo
11:00 am pick up flowers
12:00 pm head over to Sheraton hotel
12:30 pm start setting up reception area
2:30 pm quick practice session with Kelly and practice dance routine
3:00 pm hair and make-up with k
5:30 pm eat something
K
3:00 pm do Lo’s hair and make-up at the sheraton
L and V [assisting: A, I, t, and l]
1:00 pm arrive at sheraton hotel
set up centerpieces, tables, escort cards/programs, table numbers, etc., * make sure we have four chairs for the string
quartet in the dining room and two stools for Kelly and his guitarist
A [assisting: l, n, and j]
1:00 pm arrive to Sheraton hotel
set up of candy bar [please bring cake stand]
Bridal Party [n, a, t, t, j, b]
1:00 pm assist either L, V, or A at reception area
5:30 pm hang out with Lo to make sure someone smacks her if she goes all bridezilla
K [assisting: T, B, A]
1:00 pm arrival at Sheraton hotel and set up
2:30 pm quick practice session with Lo and Vince
Cocktail hour: Greet Guests and have them sign guestbook and give out favors and escort cards/programs
6:00 pm N and L * 6:15 pm t and a * 6:30 pm j and b * 6:45 pm t and l
Photographer/jimmy
1:00 pm arrive at Sheraton hotel/take pictures of me getting my make up done, etc.
5:00 pm set up photo booth at reception
DJ/Christian
4:00 pm arrive at Sheraton hotel and set up
6:00 pm play cocktail mixed c.d.
7:00 pm bridal party entrance [parents: artic monkeys – baby I’m yours. Bridal party: when in rome – the promise. Lo and Vince: m.i.a. – paper planes]
7:15 pm first dance [Alicia keys – no one/timbaland – the way I are]…put strobe lights on when timbaland comes on
8:45 pm cake cutting [the archies: sugar sugar]
9:00 pm garter toss [mission impossible theme song]
9:10 pm tossing of the garter [m.c. hammer’s – can’t touch this]
9:20 pm bouquet toss [beyonce – single ladies]
10:00 pm dancing [make sure to play some prince, lady gaga, Britney spears, bel biv devoe (poison), vanilla ice,
michael Jackson (PYT), and any top 40 hip hop songs]/last dance song will be matisyahu (one day)]
String quartet
7:30 pm to 9:30 pm play music during dinner time
* please make sure to stop playing music during these times: 8:00 pm, 8:15 pm, 8:30 pm, 9:00 pm, 9:15 pm, 9:30 pm
Videographer/Jethro
5:00 pm arrive at Sheraton hotel and start filming
reception game plan
6:00 pm cocktail hour
7:00 pm bridal party entrance
7:15 pm first dance
7:25 pm vince rants, vince’s dad’s toast [champagne toast]
7;30 pm guests enter dining room/string quartet begins to play music/friend’s slideshow is played
7:35 pm dinner is served [Lo, N, J, and T changes into Chinese dresses]
7:45 pm lo and vince along with bridal party [n, t, j, a, t, and b walk around tables]
8:00 pm slideshow
8:15 pm toasts [a, n]
8:30 pm Lo’s video for vince
8:40 pm Lo changes into white short dress and N, J, T change into black party dress
9:00 pm Lo put on I <3 vince shirt/performance by Kelly
9:15 pm cake cutting
9:30 pm garter toss
9:45 pm bouquet toss
10:00 pm dancing
11:30 pm last dance
* will need: Table for candy bar, table for photographer, head table seating 6 people, 4 chairs for string quartet members, 2 chair stools for guitarists, table for guestbook, table for signing guests in with two chairs for workers, and table for wedding favors
*******************
so yeah..i had a lot on my plate...but luckily for me, i had a really good group of friends who made sure everything ran smoothly...i swear, i am truly blessed...
honestly, all i remember about the wedding was feeling incredibly nervous because i just wanted to make sure my guests had a great time...my fiance [he is still technically my fiance because we're not really getting married till oct. 15 in beverly hills...i need to hash out the pre-nup first before we get legally married...don't want my fiance taking ...u know, my juicy couture sweat pants and all clad pots and pans if we don't work out...i kid] and i had a hip hop dance routine for our first dance. it was choreographed by my good friend K...when we did our routine at the wedding, all i remember was counting the steps in my head and praying that i didn't trip over my wedding dress. oh yeah, my hair and make up was done by another good friend of mine...i'll call her K2. she did an uber fab job...she made me look like pretty...it was awesome.
during cocktail hour, our guests got to drink our signature cocktails which consisted of "the Lo" which was a strawberry lemonade with vodka" and "the vince" which was a peach iced tea with bourbon. we also had a make shift photo booth with costumes for our guests and a candy bar consisting of candies that my fiance and i like.
so anyway, after our first dance was done, our guests entered the dining room in which a string quartet started playing music...the string quartet was a gift from our best man, A. the string quartet was a genius idea....it really made my wedding classy....so THANK YOU "A"...you're da bomb!!!
we played our cliche baby slideshows, i had several wardrobe changes, and i also played a video i had made for my fiance in which i list several reasons why i love him...oh yeah...my maid of honor and best man also gave the best toasts there ever was...i swear, i can't wait to get my wedding video back so i can replay it...the only part of the wedding that made me upset was when our best man made his speech and the servers kept walking in front of him...i think that was the only time during the wedding where i felt bridezillaish and wanted to go ballistic on them but didn't want to start screaming my head off for fear they would start spitting on my guests' food so i kept my mouth shut...
oh yeah, the entree we had at our wedding was prime rib or vegetarian wellington...
i also sang a song for my fiance in which he later joins me turning it into a duet...and i swear, that was definitely the most nerve wracking thing i've ever done...for one, i have the worst voice known to man and what was really sad was that prior to my performance, i had weeks and weeks of vocal training and i still pretty much sucked and was out of tune...i mean, i was surprisingly much better than when i had started but yeah...i felt kinda bad for my guests who had to hear my screeching...luckily for me, i had two guitarists who were incredibly amazing and when vince came in to sing with me, it kinda saved my ass...
oh yeah, my youngest sister emceed the event and she was AMAZING!!! my bridesmaid T caught my bouquet so i hope she gets hitched real soon!!!
and the whole nite, since i was completely anxietied out, i didn't get to eat...finally around 10ish, i was able to sit down and eat my chocolate fudge wedding cake...i felt like i was in a whirlwind...
after the wedding was over at around 12 pm, i spent the next two hours cleaning up the place with the help of some friends. i also had to take one of my sisters home [i won't mention who] cause she was drunk and causing a ruckus and caused one of the security guards at the hotel to follow us around...so my fiance and i pack up our car with all of our wedding crap, take my sister home, and hit BCD tofu house at 2 am cause we were STARVING...we finally managed to get to bed at 4 am...
the next day, we went over our gifts and our friends were beyond generous...we got the best gifts ever which were loads and loads of cash...had enough money to like roll around in...or shoot some 80's rock video with...i kid...
i also got a sur la table gift card from our choreographer which is awesome...thanks K!!!
so the breakdown of the big ticket items for our wedding are:
$350 for bouquet, corsages, boutineres, and flower centerpieces
$1200 for wedding dress
$11,000 for venue
$1500 for engagement ring
$100 for wedding bands
$1000 for rehearsal dinner
$1000 for photographer
$360 for dj
$1000 for videographer
Best wedding there ever was: PRICELESS
so in total, we spent about $25K for our wedding and received about $24K in cash gifts so our wedding basically just cost us about $1K which is awesome for the best wedding there ever was...i got to have my dream dress, awesome rings, and get to spend the rest of my life with the best guy there ever was...
honestly, in looking back, i cannot imagine changing anything about my wedding...it was too beyond perfect...i got to share the day with everyone who is important to me and at the end of the day, that is all that ultimately mattered to me and my fiance...i didn't care to have that expensive dress [although i did go slightly over budget on my ghetto david's bridal dress] or the expensive ring...i'm honestly looking forward to getting seriously hitched to my best friend and honestly, the love of my life...so i can't wait till oct. 15 where everything falls into place...
we will be hitting the beverly hills city hall to get hitched at 10 am with my bridesmaid T and my good friend V and then we'll celebrate with lunch at crustacean's...i am sooo seriously excited!!!
**** so once again, THANK YOU to all my friends who made it out to our wedding and your generous gifts. you allowed V and i to seriously have the wedding of our dreams and we couldn't have done it without you and for that, we am forever grateful...xoxo.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Saturday, August 29, 2009
the best bridal shower there ever was...and i'm obviously being sarcastic
today was my bridal shower and i cannot even begin to describe how it all went down...i swear, sometimes i wonder why i'm not on a reality show...okay...this is basically the story of the best bridal shower there ever was and by best, i really mean, not really the best despite my bridal party's best efforts to give me an unforgettable bridal shower...they just couldn't control nor anticipate what one of the huynh sisters would end up doing...so here i begin my story and i wish it really was one of those fake stories, but no, it's really what really happened...
so i wake up this morning all excited about my bridal shower...my sister "N" told me she was going to pick me up at 10:30 am so by 10 am, i was dressed and ready to go...i couldn't contain my excitement...i had seventeen gfs who were attending and i was seriously excited to see everyone...
so around 10 am, i get a call from "N" asking me if i had accidentally taken back a dress that i given her awhile back...i respond no and tell her i'm ready to go...
around 10:30 am, i call "N" and begin to feel that something was not right...around 10:50 am, my other sister "L" calls me that they're now on their way to pick me up which kind of annoys me cause i had told all my friends to be at castaway [the buffet joint we were having the bridal shower] at 11 am and i hate HATE to be late. so "N" picks me with "L" in "L's" car which makes me think something is really wrong.
in the car, N informs me that L had puked in her car that morning and that was why they were driving L's car...i'm like...WTF??? L then informs me that she was still drunk...so i'm like...that's great....like seriously???? so L is all hungover in the car and i'm like...this is going to be great....
so as we're driving up the hill to castaway, there's this poster of smokey the bear with a sign stating that there was "EXTREME" fire danger due to the crazy fires that has been going on in the mountains...i'm like...my bridal party is getting more fabulous with each minute...
so we finally get to the restaurant at 11:20 am and of course all my friends are there which leaves me feeling really bad cause i had told all the girls to be there on time and i was fucking late which i really hate to be...
so we get settled in the restaurant and get our grub on...i proceed to just get clams, shrimp, and crab legs because i believe in getting my money's worth at a buffet...i managed to clean up two full plates and quickly wished i was bulimic so i can throw up what i just ate but alas, i'm not...
so in the midst of eating, "N" decides to play bridal shower games...she thought it was a genius idea to let "L" come up with the questions and have the girls answer them...so the first question "L" comes up with [and i'm not even fucking joking here] was:
1. what was Lo's ex-husband's name?
all the girls at the table stop whatever they're doing and is in complete shock at the first question...i even overheard one girl saying, "OMG...i cannot believe she just brought up Lo's divorce!!!!" and another one saying, "did she seriously just ask that?" i quickly looked at everyone's faces and there was this look of horror and shock and disbelief from the group...watching everyone feel bad for me made me start laughing but it wasn't that normal laughter where i was giggling...instead, i just found the whole situation crazy funny that i started to laugh but no sound was coming out and instead, tears began to roll down my face...and when this happened, all the girls thought i was upset at my sister for bringing up such a taboo topic...it felt very "Rachel Getting Married" where ann hathaway just brings up taboo topics while everyone is in a jovial mood ....the girls begin to ask me if i was okay...and of course i was...honestly, i'm not the type who would ever get mad at my sister and i know she didn't say that intentionally to hurt me and quite honestly, i wasn't hurt but found it really amusing...
basically, "L" was supposed to come up with questions pertaining to me and my fiance such as "what does Lo and V like to do together?" or "where did V take Lo on their first date?" but of course, that wouldn't be my sister...
she would ask questions like, "what's Lo's middle name?" or "what is Lo's nickname in High school?" and i would look at the girls faces and they would have these blank expressions cause who in the world would even know the answers to such questions?
so after the games, i got to open my presents and that was really fun...and although we were supposed to leave at 2 pm, at 1:30 pm, "L" decides that she needs to puke so i look at the girls and tell them, "okay guys...i gotta go...one of the huynh sisters need to throw up...thanks for coming! and see u guys at the wedding!!!"
and that is the story of the best bridal shower there ever was...i swear, i can't imagine my bridal shower, u know, going smoothly...and at the end of the day, it reminds me why i love my sisters...they truly amuse me...
btw...to my sister "N"...thanks for hosting the event! the location was awesome despite the fire danger and the potential of u know, dying up there in the hills...
to "J"...thanks for making all those awesome bridal shower favors...
to "T"...thanks for all those cool prizes...
to "L"...thanks for really making my bridal shower uber memorable and u better not be drunk at my wedding...considering that you'll be emceeing the event that night...
and of course, to all my gfs who made it out and attempted to make it a classy event and even that couldn't save my dignity...oh yeah, and thanks for all the awesome presents...u guys are tooo freakin generous!!!
xoxox....
so i wake up this morning all excited about my bridal shower...my sister "N" told me she was going to pick me up at 10:30 am so by 10 am, i was dressed and ready to go...i couldn't contain my excitement...i had seventeen gfs who were attending and i was seriously excited to see everyone...
so around 10 am, i get a call from "N" asking me if i had accidentally taken back a dress that i given her awhile back...i respond no and tell her i'm ready to go...
around 10:30 am, i call "N" and begin to feel that something was not right...around 10:50 am, my other sister "L" calls me that they're now on their way to pick me up which kind of annoys me cause i had told all my friends to be at castaway [the buffet joint we were having the bridal shower] at 11 am and i hate HATE to be late. so "N" picks me with "L" in "L's" car which makes me think something is really wrong.
in the car, N informs me that L had puked in her car that morning and that was why they were driving L's car...i'm like...WTF??? L then informs me that she was still drunk...so i'm like...that's great....like seriously???? so L is all hungover in the car and i'm like...this is going to be great....
so as we're driving up the hill to castaway, there's this poster of smokey the bear with a sign stating that there was "EXTREME" fire danger due to the crazy fires that has been going on in the mountains...i'm like...my bridal party is getting more fabulous with each minute...
so we finally get to the restaurant at 11:20 am and of course all my friends are there which leaves me feeling really bad cause i had told all the girls to be there on time and i was fucking late which i really hate to be...
so we get settled in the restaurant and get our grub on...i proceed to just get clams, shrimp, and crab legs because i believe in getting my money's worth at a buffet...i managed to clean up two full plates and quickly wished i was bulimic so i can throw up what i just ate but alas, i'm not...
so in the midst of eating, "N" decides to play bridal shower games...she thought it was a genius idea to let "L" come up with the questions and have the girls answer them...so the first question "L" comes up with [and i'm not even fucking joking here] was:
1. what was Lo's ex-husband's name?
all the girls at the table stop whatever they're doing and is in complete shock at the first question...i even overheard one girl saying, "OMG...i cannot believe she just brought up Lo's divorce!!!!" and another one saying, "did she seriously just ask that?" i quickly looked at everyone's faces and there was this look of horror and shock and disbelief from the group...watching everyone feel bad for me made me start laughing but it wasn't that normal laughter where i was giggling...instead, i just found the whole situation crazy funny that i started to laugh but no sound was coming out and instead, tears began to roll down my face...and when this happened, all the girls thought i was upset at my sister for bringing up such a taboo topic...it felt very "Rachel Getting Married" where ann hathaway just brings up taboo topics while everyone is in a jovial mood ....the girls begin to ask me if i was okay...and of course i was...honestly, i'm not the type who would ever get mad at my sister and i know she didn't say that intentionally to hurt me and quite honestly, i wasn't hurt but found it really amusing...
basically, "L" was supposed to come up with questions pertaining to me and my fiance such as "what does Lo and V like to do together?" or "where did V take Lo on their first date?" but of course, that wouldn't be my sister...
she would ask questions like, "what's Lo's middle name?" or "what is Lo's nickname in High school?" and i would look at the girls faces and they would have these blank expressions cause who in the world would even know the answers to such questions?
so after the games, i got to open my presents and that was really fun...and although we were supposed to leave at 2 pm, at 1:30 pm, "L" decides that she needs to puke so i look at the girls and tell them, "okay guys...i gotta go...one of the huynh sisters need to throw up...thanks for coming! and see u guys at the wedding!!!"
and that is the story of the best bridal shower there ever was...i swear, i can't imagine my bridal shower, u know, going smoothly...and at the end of the day, it reminds me why i love my sisters...they truly amuse me...
btw...to my sister "N"...thanks for hosting the event! the location was awesome despite the fire danger and the potential of u know, dying up there in the hills...
to "J"...thanks for making all those awesome bridal shower favors...
to "T"...thanks for all those cool prizes...
to "L"...thanks for really making my bridal shower uber memorable and u better not be drunk at my wedding...considering that you'll be emceeing the event that night...
and of course, to all my gfs who made it out and attempted to make it a classy event and even that couldn't save my dignity...oh yeah, and thanks for all the awesome presents...u guys are tooo freakin generous!!!
xoxox....
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
my bachelorette party aka the weekend that never happened
okay...this past weekend, i hit vegas for my bachelorette party...i would like to also acknowledge that everything i'm about to talk about NEVER really happened...everything i'm about to say is a complete fabrication of the events on this trip...so on that note, in order to protect all parties, names will be changed in order to protect the innocent...so instead of using my friends names who did or "did not" go on this trip, i will give them stripper names...so here are the names: Destiny, Candy, Diamond, Savannah, Trinity, Cherry, Angel, Raven, Crystal, Roxy, Houston, Porshe.
okay...so i'll start from the beginning...
so my maid of honor, let's call her "Destiny" sends out an email with regards to our itinerary for the trip:
Hi everyone,
I think I might be missing some people, so could you forward to people I might've missed...
So here's the itinerary for this upcoming weekend:
Friday:
10 pm: American Storm strip show. Bring dollar bills!!! I'm assuming everyone will make it to Vegas by at least 10 pm, and if you will not you have to let me know. Tix are $55 each and I need to buy them in advance, so PLEASE let me know.
Midnight: Tao. "Candy" has already put us on the list. If you don't make it by 10 pm, I'll leave a room key at the desk so you can at least meet up with us at the club.
The color theme for tonight is pink.
Saturday:
11 am: Brunch at Bellagio.
1-4 pm: Pool, shopping, spa, gambling, whatever you want to do - it's your own free time. Everything else is mandatory for everyone to go to.
4-7 pm: Getting ready, pre-drinking.
7-9 pm: Dinner at Bouchon at Venetian. Be prepared to pay for whatever you ordered and we'll split Lo's meal.
9 pm - people get tired: Limo taxi to XS nightclub
Color theme is black and Lo wears white. We'll also have some games for Lo to play throughout the night.
Sunday:
11 am: Check out and pho.
I will be purchasing 2 big bottles of Grey Goose from CostCo with cranberry juice, soda water, and red bull - I'll add it to the room charges. Let me know if there's anything else you would like.
I think that's about it - "Candy" and "Diamond", let me know if I've missed anything. Should be fun! Looking forward to seeing everyone this Friday!
"Destiny"
**********
so based on the itinerary, i was definitely looking forward to the trip...it was very well thought out and planned...
so friday morning, i hit portals to grab some cheese and guava rolls for the trip and my fiance, let's call him "V", drops me off at my mom's house...my sisters and two friends are already there waiting for me...
we jump into the car and Destiny drives us to Vegas...from Glendale, we get to Vegas in record time...seriously took us only 3 1/2 hours...i was like..this is a great beginning to my bachelorette party...we check in at 3 pm and walk into our venetian suite where we had gotten adjoining suites.
we immediately throw crap loads of ice into one of the bathtubs in order to get keep our drinks cold and then we lounge around and wait for the rest of the other girls to show up...
around 7ish pm, i get a call from Diamond letting me know her flight has been delayed and she may not make it to the strip joint and if i could try to sell her ticket to one of the other girls...i informed her that everyone had prepaid their tix so that would be impossible...she tells me she'll try to make it on time...
around 8ish...no one has arrived yet and we had to leave at 9 pm to make it to American Storm...half of the girls informed me they were on their way and was almost there...two other girls were still flying in...i'm beginning to freak out cause i begin to get my women issues so i began pmsing and stressing out about people not being here....
Diamond manages to arrive around 9ish pm and forgot my veil... she later manages to save the day when she hits frederick's of hollywood and manages to macgyver a veil thong into my pretty little head piece....
....okay...and this is where i need to end my bachelorette party story...or at least give a very concise version of our trip...
so basically, i ended up wearing a veil thong [unknowingly] for my bachelorette party...some ladies get really trashed...one girl goes out of commission for most of the trip cause she thought it was a great idea to start hitting the bottle at 3 pm on friday...one girl gets found in our bathroom with her panties around her ankles and needs to get carried back to bed [i know...that's not as exciting as finding a tiger in the bathroom]...one bachelorette got pulled on stage at a strip show and basically got molested to the amusement of her friends...one girl is busy flirting with our fifty-year-old taxi cab driver named manfred who btw is married...cougars were on the pounce...men get manhandled...we get VIP treatment at TAO and XS...we hit the bellagio buffet which is obviously a bad idea when you're hungover...we learned that mixing champagne, wine, a bj shot, patron, vodka shots, absinthe in the course of 2 hours is not the best thing to do...and somehow, we all made it back to LA in one piece....oh yeah...no names to be mentioned, but one bachelorette got several marriage proposals...too bad they weren't indecent proposals cause she would obviously have been all over it....i kid...
oh yeah...so while all this partying is going on, my gf informs me on friday nite that my fiance is puking at his bachelor party...so i immediately call the boys in charge of his bachelor party and threaten them...i basically told them that if my fiance got hurt in any way, shape, or form, they would be dead to me...apparently, some people [aka my fiance] can't handle LA...
so i guess that's basically it...it was the best bachelorette party like ever...i got a chance to reconnect with my gfs...we got to talk about boys, life, and douchebags...it was great...now i'm totally looking forward to my bridal shower...xoxo....
okay...so i'll start from the beginning...
so my maid of honor, let's call her "Destiny" sends out an email with regards to our itinerary for the trip:
Hi everyone,
I think I might be missing some people, so could you forward to people I might've missed...
So here's the itinerary for this upcoming weekend:
Friday:
10 pm: American Storm strip show. Bring dollar bills!!! I'm assuming everyone will make it to Vegas by at least 10 pm, and if you will not you have to let me know. Tix are $55 each and I need to buy them in advance, so PLEASE let me know.
Midnight: Tao. "Candy" has already put us on the list. If you don't make it by 10 pm, I'll leave a room key at the desk so you can at least meet up with us at the club.
The color theme for tonight is pink.
Saturday:
11 am: Brunch at Bellagio.
1-4 pm: Pool, shopping, spa, gambling, whatever you want to do - it's your own free time. Everything else is mandatory for everyone to go to.
4-7 pm: Getting ready, pre-drinking.
7-9 pm: Dinner at Bouchon at Venetian. Be prepared to pay for whatever you ordered and we'll split Lo's meal.
9 pm - people get tired: Limo taxi to XS nightclub
Color theme is black and Lo wears white. We'll also have some games for Lo to play throughout the night.
Sunday:
11 am: Check out and pho.
I will be purchasing 2 big bottles of Grey Goose from CostCo with cranberry juice, soda water, and red bull - I'll add it to the room charges. Let me know if there's anything else you would like.
I think that's about it - "Candy" and "Diamond", let me know if I've missed anything. Should be fun! Looking forward to seeing everyone this Friday!
"Destiny"
**********
so based on the itinerary, i was definitely looking forward to the trip...it was very well thought out and planned...
so friday morning, i hit portals to grab some cheese and guava rolls for the trip and my fiance, let's call him "V", drops me off at my mom's house...my sisters and two friends are already there waiting for me...
we jump into the car and Destiny drives us to Vegas...from Glendale, we get to Vegas in record time...seriously took us only 3 1/2 hours...i was like..this is a great beginning to my bachelorette party...we check in at 3 pm and walk into our venetian suite where we had gotten adjoining suites.
we immediately throw crap loads of ice into one of the bathtubs in order to get keep our drinks cold and then we lounge around and wait for the rest of the other girls to show up...
around 7ish pm, i get a call from Diamond letting me know her flight has been delayed and she may not make it to the strip joint and if i could try to sell her ticket to one of the other girls...i informed her that everyone had prepaid their tix so that would be impossible...she tells me she'll try to make it on time...
around 8ish...no one has arrived yet and we had to leave at 9 pm to make it to American Storm...half of the girls informed me they were on their way and was almost there...two other girls were still flying in...i'm beginning to freak out cause i begin to get my women issues so i began pmsing and stressing out about people not being here....
Diamond manages to arrive around 9ish pm and forgot my veil... she later manages to save the day when she hits frederick's of hollywood and manages to macgyver a veil thong into my pretty little head piece....
....okay...and this is where i need to end my bachelorette party story...or at least give a very concise version of our trip...
so basically, i ended up wearing a veil thong [unknowingly] for my bachelorette party...some ladies get really trashed...one girl goes out of commission for most of the trip cause she thought it was a great idea to start hitting the bottle at 3 pm on friday...one girl gets found in our bathroom with her panties around her ankles and needs to get carried back to bed [i know...that's not as exciting as finding a tiger in the bathroom]...one bachelorette got pulled on stage at a strip show and basically got molested to the amusement of her friends...one girl is busy flirting with our fifty-year-old taxi cab driver named manfred who btw is married...cougars were on the pounce...men get manhandled...we get VIP treatment at TAO and XS...we hit the bellagio buffet which is obviously a bad idea when you're hungover...we learned that mixing champagne, wine, a bj shot, patron, vodka shots, absinthe in the course of 2 hours is not the best thing to do...and somehow, we all made it back to LA in one piece....oh yeah...no names to be mentioned, but one bachelorette got several marriage proposals...too bad they weren't indecent proposals cause she would obviously have been all over it....i kid...
oh yeah...so while all this partying is going on, my gf informs me on friday nite that my fiance is puking at his bachelor party...so i immediately call the boys in charge of his bachelor party and threaten them...i basically told them that if my fiance got hurt in any way, shape, or form, they would be dead to me...apparently, some people [aka my fiance] can't handle LA...
so i guess that's basically it...it was the best bachelorette party like ever...i got a chance to reconnect with my gfs...we got to talk about boys, life, and douchebags...it was great...now i'm totally looking forward to my bridal shower...xoxo....
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
4th of july weekend and the greatest day ever
i spent last weekend watching the hangover on friday and my review on that movie...i loved it. saturday was spent watching transformers...my review on that movie...it was fucking stupid...i swear, an hour into it, i fell asleep and when i woke up in the movie theater, i was damn pissed it was not over...i fucking hate it when that happens...like a movie bores me to the point where i'm totally taking a nap in the theater and then i wake up, and it's still ongoing for like another hour...i would have to vote megan fox as like the worst actress of our times...she's hawt but her acting is soo bad, she begins to get really annoying...all she basically does is talk in this little baby wannabe marilyn monroe out of breath voice and then it gets old...like really quick...so anyway, after an hour into the movie, i knocked out cause there's only so many transformers or robot things transforming into hot girls or cars that i can take and then i wake up to stupid megan fox crying cause shia is like asleep or something and she's like..."i love u. i love u." and i'm like, okay...and of course i think he wakes up and more transformer shit happens and then the movie ends...i was like...was there even a fucking storyline for this movie? did anyone even die? so yeah...i wish i could get my money back or at least the 3 hours i spent watching that stupid movie...
also, saturday was spent having bbq at my mom's house and then coming home and working on more wedding stuff...
sunday was spent being overly productive...i got thai food with my fiance, my sister "L" and her bf "M"...we then hit ikea to get a dresser...i wanted to get the $39.99 dresser and my fiance wanted to get the $299.99 dresser...i was like, there's no way in hell we're paying close to $300 for a dresser at ikea so i can have a drawer to throw my granny panties in...HELLO, we're not all bougeouis [shit, i can't spell that word]...so we spend like half an hour debating which dresser to get and of course, i end up getting my way at the end and we got the cheaper dresser...got home and my fiance puts the dresser together with his shirt off...i wanted to take pics of him putting the dresser together so i can post it on facebook but he was against the idea...anyway, while putting this dresser together, i assisted by handing him nails and wondered why we couldn't get a contractor for this...putting furniture together is like boring as hell...
after like an hour, we get our new fancy dresser...the dresser had like 2 big drawers and 1 small drawer...i took the two big drawers and gave my fiance the one small drawer...what can i say? i'm a giver...
we then get ready to go to catch death cab for cutie at the hollywood bowl...i spend an hour attempting to give myself the hilary duff/rachel bilson look that i found on youtube...and i just end up looking like a stupid hoe...but whatever...i wear my new white skinny zipper jeans that i just got at madewell and my new pair of gladiator sandals my fiance got me...i looked very tres chic and by tres chic...a stupid hoe...damn that make-up...so i'm trying to talk my fiance into paying for make-up classes for me cause apparently, i'm really bad at it...apparently, he doesn't think spending $3K for a week of make-up classes is such a fabulous idea...he's prolly right cause like most of my hobbies, i'm into it for like a week and then get bored...
okay...back to the concert...so we hit the concert and some band called the pornographers come on...they SUCKED...and then tegan and sara comes on and i guess they're some lesbian sister group...they were okay....and then death cab for cutie comes on and they're FUCKING AMAZING!!!! i crazy love them...i actually saw them at the wiltern like five years ago...while watching the show, i ate a vietnamese french sandwich and my friend K gave me a frozen bottled water which was nuts cause i would basically have to wait every 15 minutes for some water to defrost so i can take like one sip...i was uberly upset about that...i look at my fiance and i'm like..."I NEED A DRINK"...and he like ignores me...it's great...so he attempts to warm the frozen bottle between his legs and i'm going nuts cause i'm dehydrated from the sandwich and from the salty prosciutto and salami that i had wolfed down earlier...okay...so back to the concert...the concert ends with fireworks...i swear, it was uber fab...
so after the concert, we start to leave and it was fucking nuts...i swear, u would think it'd be more orderly...but somehow, i managed to almost get into an insane fight...so anyway, i'm walking downhill and some stupid bitch pushes against me...i turn around and i'm like, "stop being a stupid bitch...don't fucking push against me." the stupid bitch is then, "i'm sorry...everyone is bumping against me." i'm like, "what fucking people? the only fucking person pushing u is your stupid boyfriend. why are u being such a fucking douche? u don't fucking see me pushing people in front of me so why u have to do that?" i then give her the dirtiest stare i could muster...my fiance gets kinda worried cause this girl is like much taller than me and her bf is also super tall too and can prolly kick my ass real easily but i wasn't gonna back down...other people are now kinda staring at us but i'm too pissed and annoyed to care...her bf then says, "we're sorry...we didn't mean to." and i'm like, "don't fucking even talk to me...ur a fucking ASSHOLE and she's a total bitch." the girl then says, "yeah...i'm really sorry." i just turn around, ignore her, and then i proceed to walk off...honestly, i know they were prolly drunk and being stupid but i'm not gonna tolerate that kind of behavior...honestly, i was surprised they just didn't call me a bitch cause they could have easily kicked my ass...it would prolly take them like 2 seconds...unless of course my fiance steps in and then they could prolly beat us up real good in like 10 seconds...but anyway, so we end up shuttling back to the LA zoo and finally get home like an hour after the concert...i swear, that's prolly one of the reasons why i hate going to concerts...i get anxiety being around all those people...
so today is now tuesday...MJ's memorial was on television today...when his daughter paris spoke, totally made me wanna cry....
oh yeah...today is like the greatest day ever...i got an 8 piece chicken mcnuggets at mcDonalds and a small fries for lunch and my make-up brushes and 88 make up palette arrived...i'm beyond excited...i am one step closer to looking like a chola for my wedding...it's gonna be off the hook...
i will be spending this evening cooking pork chops for dinner and prolly working on more wedding stuff...xoxo.
also, saturday was spent having bbq at my mom's house and then coming home and working on more wedding stuff...
sunday was spent being overly productive...i got thai food with my fiance, my sister "L" and her bf "M"...we then hit ikea to get a dresser...i wanted to get the $39.99 dresser and my fiance wanted to get the $299.99 dresser...i was like, there's no way in hell we're paying close to $300 for a dresser at ikea so i can have a drawer to throw my granny panties in...HELLO, we're not all bougeouis [shit, i can't spell that word]...so we spend like half an hour debating which dresser to get and of course, i end up getting my way at the end and we got the cheaper dresser...got home and my fiance puts the dresser together with his shirt off...i wanted to take pics of him putting the dresser together so i can post it on facebook but he was against the idea...anyway, while putting this dresser together, i assisted by handing him nails and wondered why we couldn't get a contractor for this...putting furniture together is like boring as hell...
after like an hour, we get our new fancy dresser...the dresser had like 2 big drawers and 1 small drawer...i took the two big drawers and gave my fiance the one small drawer...what can i say? i'm a giver...
we then get ready to go to catch death cab for cutie at the hollywood bowl...i spend an hour attempting to give myself the hilary duff/rachel bilson look that i found on youtube...and i just end up looking like a stupid hoe...but whatever...i wear my new white skinny zipper jeans that i just got at madewell and my new pair of gladiator sandals my fiance got me...i looked very tres chic and by tres chic...a stupid hoe...damn that make-up...so i'm trying to talk my fiance into paying for make-up classes for me cause apparently, i'm really bad at it...apparently, he doesn't think spending $3K for a week of make-up classes is such a fabulous idea...he's prolly right cause like most of my hobbies, i'm into it for like a week and then get bored...
okay...back to the concert...so we hit the concert and some band called the pornographers come on...they SUCKED...and then tegan and sara comes on and i guess they're some lesbian sister group...they were okay....and then death cab for cutie comes on and they're FUCKING AMAZING!!!! i crazy love them...i actually saw them at the wiltern like five years ago...while watching the show, i ate a vietnamese french sandwich and my friend K gave me a frozen bottled water which was nuts cause i would basically have to wait every 15 minutes for some water to defrost so i can take like one sip...i was uberly upset about that...i look at my fiance and i'm like..."I NEED A DRINK"...and he like ignores me...it's great...so he attempts to warm the frozen bottle between his legs and i'm going nuts cause i'm dehydrated from the sandwich and from the salty prosciutto and salami that i had wolfed down earlier...okay...so back to the concert...the concert ends with fireworks...i swear, it was uber fab...
so after the concert, we start to leave and it was fucking nuts...i swear, u would think it'd be more orderly...but somehow, i managed to almost get into an insane fight...so anyway, i'm walking downhill and some stupid bitch pushes against me...i turn around and i'm like, "stop being a stupid bitch...don't fucking push against me." the stupid bitch is then, "i'm sorry...everyone is bumping against me." i'm like, "what fucking people? the only fucking person pushing u is your stupid boyfriend. why are u being such a fucking douche? u don't fucking see me pushing people in front of me so why u have to do that?" i then give her the dirtiest stare i could muster...my fiance gets kinda worried cause this girl is like much taller than me and her bf is also super tall too and can prolly kick my ass real easily but i wasn't gonna back down...other people are now kinda staring at us but i'm too pissed and annoyed to care...her bf then says, "we're sorry...we didn't mean to." and i'm like, "don't fucking even talk to me...ur a fucking ASSHOLE and she's a total bitch." the girl then says, "yeah...i'm really sorry." i just turn around, ignore her, and then i proceed to walk off...honestly, i know they were prolly drunk and being stupid but i'm not gonna tolerate that kind of behavior...honestly, i was surprised they just didn't call me a bitch cause they could have easily kicked my ass...it would prolly take them like 2 seconds...unless of course my fiance steps in and then they could prolly beat us up real good in like 10 seconds...but anyway, so we end up shuttling back to the LA zoo and finally get home like an hour after the concert...i swear, that's prolly one of the reasons why i hate going to concerts...i get anxiety being around all those people...
so today is now tuesday...MJ's memorial was on television today...when his daughter paris spoke, totally made me wanna cry....
oh yeah...today is like the greatest day ever...i got an 8 piece chicken mcnuggets at mcDonalds and a small fries for lunch and my make-up brushes and 88 make up palette arrived...i'm beyond excited...i am one step closer to looking like a chola for my wedding...it's gonna be off the hook...
i will be spending this evening cooking pork chops for dinner and prolly working on more wedding stuff...xoxo.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
adele and other stuff...xoxo.
last sunday was the worst sunday i've ever had...basically, the morning begins with my youngest sister calling me at 8 am...i'm like, it's fucking 8 am...what could she possibly want? so i pick up the phone and she wants to know if V and i wanna grab dim sum with the family...and i'm like...like, "right now?" and she's like, "yes...we'll be at the restaurant at 9ish."...and since i try to get as much family time in as i can, i was like..."okay."
so anyway, my family decided to go to this restaurant that i completely abhor cause the food is mediocre and the restaurant is even too dirty for my standards and i love love hole-in-the wall restaurants...so we order our food and as we're eating, there's a fucking cockroach crawling next to my sister "N" which in turn repulses the crap out of me and i quickly stop eating...at that point, i really just wanted to barf...but since i was there with my parents, i didn't want to start bitching to the manager cause my parents are the type of people that don't like to be confrontational to others and find it easier to just ignore the situation and leave...if it was just me and my fiance, i would have thrown a shit fit and told them i was gonna report them to the health department cause that was just straight up gross...my sisters thought i was being too overly dramatic...but honestly, i swear, since i've worked in restaurants before, like if there are any bugs that are out in the dining room, the kitchen is only 100 times worst...
so anyway, that was the beginning of my bad morning...
so around noon time, i ended up getting my women issues which royally pissed me off cause i was like two days early...yes, i count my days...i had an adele concert to go to that evening at the hollywood bowl and i began freaking out cause when i have my women issues, i basically become quite immobilized...i swear, the symptoms have been getting worse since i've been getting older...it's to the point where i'll actually need to take the day off from work...
so since i know it can get bad, i began freaking out and attempt to get someone to take my ticket to go in my place but to no avail. i then decide to take a nap for two hours and hoped that i would feel better...i also decided to take 6 ibuprofens...
so i manage to get up at 4 pm...and muster the energy to go cause my fiance said he wouldn't go to the concert without me...and i figured i should try to get up cause i was actually interested in seeing etta james cause i completely love her...
so anyway, we take the shuttle from the LA Zoo to the hollywood bowl with our friends F and A...as we're approaching the hollywood bowl, my friend F tells me that Etta James isn't gonna be there but Chaka Khan is gonna take her place...i was like, "Ha ha...i know you're kidding...i didn't fucking get my ass out of bed to fucking see chaka khan." so anyway, i look at the sign and it was true...CHAKA KHAN!! i'm like, WTF? can this day get any worse? so here i am, in fucking pain and about to spend my time watching chaka khan who i cannot even stand but whatever, i try to be a good sport about the whole thing...my fiance didn't even know who chaka khan is...she's obviously before his time...
so anyway, we get to the concert and eat F sandwiches which were amazing...i had made this pasta salad to go with F's grilled portobello roasted pepper chicken sandwiches in which we finish off with some lambrusco...i manage to actually feel somewhat okay...so, the opening act consisted of this woman in a tuxedo singing and dancing all schizoprehnically...it was great..and by great, the worst fucking thing i've ever seen in my fucking life...this woman proceeds to like sing like a nutcase and then paint a picture at the same time...i was like, WTF? i would have been more impressed by her if she like stood still and sang a song that didn't give me a headache...
and then chaka khan comes up and sings all her hits...before she sings some song about a fire...she's like..."i was a bad girl...a very bad girl. i used to partay...i put the P in partay...until one day my mom told me to stop and come home and pray and find god." before she tells us to used to partay, she tells us about how she had like some kids that she didn't take care of cause she was too busy partaying...so i'm like, instead of her mother telling her to like pray and find god, why didn't her mom just tell her, "i don't fucking care who u are...why don't u fucking come home and take care of your FUCKING kids and stop being a drugged up skanky hoe celebrity singer"? cause obviously, that's what i would have told my daughter...or i'd be like, "if u don't come home to take care of the kids u brought into this world, i'm gonna sell them." am i harsh and a bitch sometimes? i'd have to say yes...and then chaka khan ends her performance with "i'm every woman" which really upsets me cause for one, i HATE that song and i don't get how u can be "every woman"...what does that even mean???
so before adele is about to hit the stage, my medication has worn off and the pain hits... i begin to get really sweaty and immensely nauseated and begin to experience really intense bad cramps...so my fiance walks me to the restroom where the line is a mile long...i swear, could this day get any worse? i'm holding my stomach and really just wanna cry and go home..eventually, i was able to hit the restroom where i sit in there trying to deal with my pain...i finally make it back as she sings her second song and i pop more ibuprofen....the rest of my nite was spent trying to stay focused on watching adele [who btw is AMAZING even though she would flub her lines a lot] and dealing with my pain...my friend A told me that she heard that after you have a baby, the women issues pain subsides but i was like, "i'm not fucking getting my ass fucking preggers right now to find out if that's true or not." i swear, what if i knock out a kid and i get all fat and ugly with gnarly stretchmarks and my period pain is still intense? that would royally suck like big time...
anyway, so i was uberly glad when the concert was over...i just couldn't wait to go back home and get underneath the covers and lie in bed...and of course, before that could happen, we had to wait for our shuttle and we basically didn't get home till like another hour...
so yes, that was my SUNDAY which was officially the worst sunday of my life...
i am definitely now looking forward to this weekend...hopefully i'll finally be able to catch the Hangover with the love of my life [and yes, i'm referring to V], head over to my parents house for 4th of july, and catch death cab for cuties with my friends at the hollywood bowl on sunday...pretty crazy packed weekend...i just have to make it thru today...
i'm gonna make myself a peach iced tea for work and hopefully, the day goes by quickly...but somehow i doubt it...xoxo...
so anyway, my family decided to go to this restaurant that i completely abhor cause the food is mediocre and the restaurant is even too dirty for my standards and i love love hole-in-the wall restaurants...so we order our food and as we're eating, there's a fucking cockroach crawling next to my sister "N" which in turn repulses the crap out of me and i quickly stop eating...at that point, i really just wanted to barf...but since i was there with my parents, i didn't want to start bitching to the manager cause my parents are the type of people that don't like to be confrontational to others and find it easier to just ignore the situation and leave...if it was just me and my fiance, i would have thrown a shit fit and told them i was gonna report them to the health department cause that was just straight up gross...my sisters thought i was being too overly dramatic...but honestly, i swear, since i've worked in restaurants before, like if there are any bugs that are out in the dining room, the kitchen is only 100 times worst...
so anyway, that was the beginning of my bad morning...
so around noon time, i ended up getting my women issues which royally pissed me off cause i was like two days early...yes, i count my days...i had an adele concert to go to that evening at the hollywood bowl and i began freaking out cause when i have my women issues, i basically become quite immobilized...i swear, the symptoms have been getting worse since i've been getting older...it's to the point where i'll actually need to take the day off from work...
so since i know it can get bad, i began freaking out and attempt to get someone to take my ticket to go in my place but to no avail. i then decide to take a nap for two hours and hoped that i would feel better...i also decided to take 6 ibuprofens...
so i manage to get up at 4 pm...and muster the energy to go cause my fiance said he wouldn't go to the concert without me...and i figured i should try to get up cause i was actually interested in seeing etta james cause i completely love her...
so anyway, we take the shuttle from the LA Zoo to the hollywood bowl with our friends F and A...as we're approaching the hollywood bowl, my friend F tells me that Etta James isn't gonna be there but Chaka Khan is gonna take her place...i was like, "Ha ha...i know you're kidding...i didn't fucking get my ass out of bed to fucking see chaka khan." so anyway, i look at the sign and it was true...CHAKA KHAN!! i'm like, WTF? can this day get any worse? so here i am, in fucking pain and about to spend my time watching chaka khan who i cannot even stand but whatever, i try to be a good sport about the whole thing...my fiance didn't even know who chaka khan is...she's obviously before his time...
so anyway, we get to the concert and eat F sandwiches which were amazing...i had made this pasta salad to go with F's grilled portobello roasted pepper chicken sandwiches in which we finish off with some lambrusco...i manage to actually feel somewhat okay...so, the opening act consisted of this woman in a tuxedo singing and dancing all schizoprehnically...it was great..and by great, the worst fucking thing i've ever seen in my fucking life...this woman proceeds to like sing like a nutcase and then paint a picture at the same time...i was like, WTF? i would have been more impressed by her if she like stood still and sang a song that didn't give me a headache...
and then chaka khan comes up and sings all her hits...before she sings some song about a fire...she's like..."i was a bad girl...a very bad girl. i used to partay...i put the P in partay...until one day my mom told me to stop and come home and pray and find god." before she tells us to used to partay, she tells us about how she had like some kids that she didn't take care of cause she was too busy partaying...so i'm like, instead of her mother telling her to like pray and find god, why didn't her mom just tell her, "i don't fucking care who u are...why don't u fucking come home and take care of your FUCKING kids and stop being a drugged up skanky hoe celebrity singer"? cause obviously, that's what i would have told my daughter...or i'd be like, "if u don't come home to take care of the kids u brought into this world, i'm gonna sell them." am i harsh and a bitch sometimes? i'd have to say yes...and then chaka khan ends her performance with "i'm every woman" which really upsets me cause for one, i HATE that song and i don't get how u can be "every woman"...what does that even mean???
so before adele is about to hit the stage, my medication has worn off and the pain hits... i begin to get really sweaty and immensely nauseated and begin to experience really intense bad cramps...so my fiance walks me to the restroom where the line is a mile long...i swear, could this day get any worse? i'm holding my stomach and really just wanna cry and go home..eventually, i was able to hit the restroom where i sit in there trying to deal with my pain...i finally make it back as she sings her second song and i pop more ibuprofen....the rest of my nite was spent trying to stay focused on watching adele [who btw is AMAZING even though she would flub her lines a lot] and dealing with my pain...my friend A told me that she heard that after you have a baby, the women issues pain subsides but i was like, "i'm not fucking getting my ass fucking preggers right now to find out if that's true or not." i swear, what if i knock out a kid and i get all fat and ugly with gnarly stretchmarks and my period pain is still intense? that would royally suck like big time...
anyway, so i was uberly glad when the concert was over...i just couldn't wait to go back home and get underneath the covers and lie in bed...and of course, before that could happen, we had to wait for our shuttle and we basically didn't get home till like another hour...
so yes, that was my SUNDAY which was officially the worst sunday of my life...
i am definitely now looking forward to this weekend...hopefully i'll finally be able to catch the Hangover with the love of my life [and yes, i'm referring to V], head over to my parents house for 4th of july, and catch death cab for cuties with my friends at the hollywood bowl on sunday...pretty crazy packed weekend...i just have to make it thru today...
i'm gonna make myself a peach iced tea for work and hopefully, the day goes by quickly...but somehow i doubt it...xoxo...
Saturday, June 20, 2009
i am for sale and so is my fiance
my last nite was spent watching indecent proposal...the movie stars robert redford who plays this billionaire who offers one million dollars to sleep with demi moore who is married to woody harrelson in the movie...so anyway, she ends up hooking up with robert redford with woody's consent and then woody and demi end up fighting and she ends up getting with robert redford and then they break up and she gets back with woody...and why would she do that? it's cause she's fucking needy and can't be alone...but that's another story...
so my thoughts on this movie was that it was great but totally unrealistic...my amigo "A" was like, "this movie is so much better than pretty woman" and he was like totally wrong....but don't get me wrong, everyone knows i'm a sucker for a movie in which the story line consists of some poor girl falling in love with some rich guy and she lives happily ever after cause she becomes accustomed to her rich lifestyle cause it takes her out of the ghetto and then she forgets where she came from and becomes a royal bitch...this is why movies like pretty woman and jersey girl [that 80's version and not that stupid modern version that stars ben affleck and jennifer lopez who btw is one of the worst actresses like ever] are like my fave movies...anyway, back to indecent proposal, it was a pretty decent movie...u get to see demi's one boob for most of it and like when woody makes out with her, he wipes off her lipstick all rough and then they like make out and do it...and before they have sex, they kinda like beat each other up...it was very interesting...
so anyway, the reason why i think indecent proposal is totally unrealistic is cause how often does some billionaire offer a million dollars for a one night stand? and seriously, if i was in vegas with my husband and some guy offers me a billion dollars, there is no way i would REJECT that offer...and on top of that, i'd make sure to get a divorce first so i won't have to split that million...and btw, if a million was deposited into their account, don't they have to pay taxes on that? like seriously...and another unrealistic part about the movie is that demi's husband was a total loser and so not hot...robert redford is like twice his age in the movie but is totally fine like some nice fine aged wine...give me some of that booty...i'd hit it for like $5...i kid, i would never do such a thing...i am happily engaged to the best fiance like in the world...[hey V...that was a shout out to u if u like ever even read my blogs]...another thing i found kinda lame about the movie is that one of the lines demi says is, "I am not for sale" and yet, she's the one who wants to hook up with him...she's a total hypocrite...and then she tries to blame her husband for being a whore by saying that she slept with robert for him...i'm like, good one...i'll remember to use that line if i'm like ever caught sleeping with a billionaire for money...which obviously would never happen cause i don't have that kind of luck nor do i look like demi moore...damn my life...
so why do i think pretty woman is a much better movie? well, for one thing, it's definitely more realistic...i mean, when i ever think i'm down on my luck and don't have money, i know i can always be a HOOKER...that's a realistic goal...and then if you're a hooker, there's more likelihood of meeting a rich guy, for example, hugh grant, which would actually be a dream come true cause he's not only rich, he's hot...and he gets hookers...so yeah, i'm definitely more into movies that can happen in real life...it gives all us ladies something to aspire to...
so if i were to rename the movie i just saw last nite, i'd call it..."The Perfect Proposal" ...or "A Girl's Dream Come True" or maybe even "One Night in Vegas and it was some good times and i just got myself a million dollars and is now officially the most expensive hooker...like ever"...dammit, why am i not hired to name movie titles? i swear, my fucking creativity goes to waste...
so anyway, i hit a tea party today and that was fun but all i could talk about was indecent proposal and how i hope it will happen to me when i hit vegas next month for my bachelorette party but somehow, i highly doubt that will happen...and of course, i'm kidding...and by kidding, not really kidding...HELLO, it's a fucking million dollars...honestly, i know i would give my fiance a call and this would be our conversation if i just got offered a million dollars by some rich ass douchebag:
Lo: hey honey, i'm in vegas and this like super rich guy wants to sleep with me for a million dollars.
V: uh...don't do it. we don't need the money.
Lo: oh...it's all staticky on the phone...i can't hear u clearly...did u just say u wanted me to sleep with him and i can keep the money all to myself? wow..baby, you're the best. [phone clicks]
so my fiance and i get back from the tea party [and yes, i dragged my fiance to an all girls tea party which he wasn't too thrilled about] and we watch Yes Man starring Jim Carrey...is it just me or is he just seriously fucking annoying as hell? so my movie review on Yes Man would be: DON'T WATCH THAT MOVIE. IT'S TOTALLY STUPID.
after the movie, we grabbed some sushi and now we're about to work on some wedding stuff...i swear, most productive saturday like ever!!!! xoxox.
so my thoughts on this movie was that it was great but totally unrealistic...my amigo "A" was like, "this movie is so much better than pretty woman" and he was like totally wrong....but don't get me wrong, everyone knows i'm a sucker for a movie in which the story line consists of some poor girl falling in love with some rich guy and she lives happily ever after cause she becomes accustomed to her rich lifestyle cause it takes her out of the ghetto and then she forgets where she came from and becomes a royal bitch...this is why movies like pretty woman and jersey girl [that 80's version and not that stupid modern version that stars ben affleck and jennifer lopez who btw is one of the worst actresses like ever] are like my fave movies...anyway, back to indecent proposal, it was a pretty decent movie...u get to see demi's one boob for most of it and like when woody makes out with her, he wipes off her lipstick all rough and then they like make out and do it...and before they have sex, they kinda like beat each other up...it was very interesting...
so anyway, the reason why i think indecent proposal is totally unrealistic is cause how often does some billionaire offer a million dollars for a one night stand? and seriously, if i was in vegas with my husband and some guy offers me a billion dollars, there is no way i would REJECT that offer...and on top of that, i'd make sure to get a divorce first so i won't have to split that million...and btw, if a million was deposited into their account, don't they have to pay taxes on that? like seriously...and another unrealistic part about the movie is that demi's husband was a total loser and so not hot...robert redford is like twice his age in the movie but is totally fine like some nice fine aged wine...give me some of that booty...i'd hit it for like $5...i kid, i would never do such a thing...i am happily engaged to the best fiance like in the world...[hey V...that was a shout out to u if u like ever even read my blogs]...another thing i found kinda lame about the movie is that one of the lines demi says is, "I am not for sale" and yet, she's the one who wants to hook up with him...she's a total hypocrite...and then she tries to blame her husband for being a whore by saying that she slept with robert for him...i'm like, good one...i'll remember to use that line if i'm like ever caught sleeping with a billionaire for money...which obviously would never happen cause i don't have that kind of luck nor do i look like demi moore...damn my life...
so why do i think pretty woman is a much better movie? well, for one thing, it's definitely more realistic...i mean, when i ever think i'm down on my luck and don't have money, i know i can always be a HOOKER...that's a realistic goal...and then if you're a hooker, there's more likelihood of meeting a rich guy, for example, hugh grant, which would actually be a dream come true cause he's not only rich, he's hot...and he gets hookers...so yeah, i'm definitely more into movies that can happen in real life...it gives all us ladies something to aspire to...
so if i were to rename the movie i just saw last nite, i'd call it..."The Perfect Proposal" ...or "A Girl's Dream Come True" or maybe even "One Night in Vegas and it was some good times and i just got myself a million dollars and is now officially the most expensive hooker...like ever"...dammit, why am i not hired to name movie titles? i swear, my fucking creativity goes to waste...
so anyway, i hit a tea party today and that was fun but all i could talk about was indecent proposal and how i hope it will happen to me when i hit vegas next month for my bachelorette party but somehow, i highly doubt that will happen...and of course, i'm kidding...and by kidding, not really kidding...HELLO, it's a fucking million dollars...honestly, i know i would give my fiance a call and this would be our conversation if i just got offered a million dollars by some rich ass douchebag:
Lo: hey honey, i'm in vegas and this like super rich guy wants to sleep with me for a million dollars.
V: uh...don't do it. we don't need the money.
Lo: oh...it's all staticky on the phone...i can't hear u clearly...did u just say u wanted me to sleep with him and i can keep the money all to myself? wow..baby, you're the best. [phone clicks]
so my fiance and i get back from the tea party [and yes, i dragged my fiance to an all girls tea party which he wasn't too thrilled about] and we watch Yes Man starring Jim Carrey...is it just me or is he just seriously fucking annoying as hell? so my movie review on Yes Man would be: DON'T WATCH THAT MOVIE. IT'S TOTALLY STUPID.
after the movie, we grabbed some sushi and now we're about to work on some wedding stuff...i swear, most productive saturday like ever!!!! xoxox.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Stage Beauty: a movie review
my last nite was spent watching stage beauty starring billy crudrup and claire danes...this is my review:
the movie sucked like big time.
i really want my one hour and 49 minutes back...i swear, i stayed up past 2 am to watch that piece of crap...the movie is about how men used to play women roles back in the day and how claire danes character was all about getting some booty from billy crudrup's character but the problem is that he's gay...and so when she finally gets him into bed with her, instead of hooking up, he is just like caressing her face with his hands...i'm like wtf? and so the movie ends with him trying to kill her on stage and after the play is over, she still wants his booty but it doesn't happen...and then the movie ends...i'm like, wtf? i don't get it. so basically, don't waste your time watching it...
so now i'm up way too damn early on my saturday...
oh yeah...so last nite, i didn't go insanely nuts on my fiance when he finally got home from his work dinner...surprisingly...basically, i was somewhat of an adult and told him we needed to talk...i basically went over the situation with him and told him how i felt and how he needed to stand up for me if need be because i felt i didn't have a voice...i swear, it was the most adult conversation i've had...normally, i like to scream my head off, cry, and go into dramatics if i'm upset...he agreed and now we're cool...
today will be spent doing some wedding stuff and just chilling out...tomorrow will be spent grabbing dim sum with a junior high school friend to discuss her upcoming nuptials, a college graduation party to hit, and then dinner with a gf and her bf...yes, i'm back to triple booking...xoxo.
the movie sucked like big time.
i really want my one hour and 49 minutes back...i swear, i stayed up past 2 am to watch that piece of crap...the movie is about how men used to play women roles back in the day and how claire danes character was all about getting some booty from billy crudrup's character but the problem is that he's gay...and so when she finally gets him into bed with her, instead of hooking up, he is just like caressing her face with his hands...i'm like wtf? and so the movie ends with him trying to kill her on stage and after the play is over, she still wants his booty but it doesn't happen...and then the movie ends...i'm like, wtf? i don't get it. so basically, don't waste your time watching it...
so now i'm up way too damn early on my saturday...
oh yeah...so last nite, i didn't go insanely nuts on my fiance when he finally got home from his work dinner...surprisingly...basically, i was somewhat of an adult and told him we needed to talk...i basically went over the situation with him and told him how i felt and how he needed to stand up for me if need be because i felt i didn't have a voice...i swear, it was the most adult conversation i've had...normally, i like to scream my head off, cry, and go into dramatics if i'm upset...he agreed and now we're cool...
today will be spent doing some wedding stuff and just chilling out...tomorrow will be spent grabbing dim sum with a junior high school friend to discuss her upcoming nuptials, a college graduation party to hit, and then dinner with a gf and her bf...yes, i'm back to triple booking...xoxo.
Friday, June 12, 2009
i had a bad day
surprisingly, i get bad days and today was one of them...it was surprisingly gloomy in LA...so i get up at 9ish this morning and my fiance gives me some bad news which i can't discuss...anyway, it basically ruins my mood...so he leaves for work at 11ish with me screaming at him...so basically, since i can't really give out details, it really just consists of someone bad mouthing me which i obviously have no issues with but this person also made up some lies about me which is what upsets and infuriates me because i can't even defend myself because it'd be my word against hers...yes...very gossip girl stuff except not really...
anyway, so when i get into a funk, i lose my appetite...which is actually a good thing...i love being skinny and the skinnier, the better...so lunch time rolls around and i'm like, i should prolly eat something....i go to my fridge and pull out my cheetos cheese puffs bag...i eat exactly ten cheese puffs and decide to sleep off my hunger...so i go take a nap for like two hours and wake up around 4ish...a gf of mine contacts me to go grab dinner with her...so i'm like, yeah..i should prolly get my ass up and do something...so i go wash my face and put on my sweats and not brush my hair...
my fiance calls me and tells me he has to stay out late cause he has to grab dinner with his work place...i'm like, yeah, sure, go ahead...i don't care to be around u tonite...btw...my fiance knows what he did or more like what he didn't do and why i'm in such a rage...honestly, i'm sure he's glad he had a company dinner to go to so he can avoid my anger...
so i go grab pho with my gf and instead of going directly home which i should have done, i ended up going shopping...which of course is always a fucking bad idea considering that i'm always broke...
so armed with my credit card, i hit the store and end up buying this super hot alice and olivia dress which i shouldn't have...surprisingly, i instantly felt better...i justify my transaction by telling myself that if i wear this dress to my bachelorette party next month, then it makes it okay...honestly, i know i shouldn't be shopping when i'm a recovering addict...
so when i'm at the register, i look at the sales lady and ask her what the return policy was...and i'm like, wtf happened to my life? the old Lo would never ask such a question...i would buy crap and know i would keep the item and now i have to think about it?
so anyway, i purchase the dress and go home and try it on with my high heels on and think to myself, wow, i look beautiful despite my coke bottles, uncombed hair, and big ears.
so yes, i feel slightly better...maybe enough so where i don't go completely nuts on my fiance for not defending my honor...anyway, i will spend the rest of this evening feeling sorry for myself....i know...woe is my life. xoxo.
anyway, so when i get into a funk, i lose my appetite...which is actually a good thing...i love being skinny and the skinnier, the better...so lunch time rolls around and i'm like, i should prolly eat something....i go to my fridge and pull out my cheetos cheese puffs bag...i eat exactly ten cheese puffs and decide to sleep off my hunger...so i go take a nap for like two hours and wake up around 4ish...a gf of mine contacts me to go grab dinner with her...so i'm like, yeah..i should prolly get my ass up and do something...so i go wash my face and put on my sweats and not brush my hair...
my fiance calls me and tells me he has to stay out late cause he has to grab dinner with his work place...i'm like, yeah, sure, go ahead...i don't care to be around u tonite...btw...my fiance knows what he did or more like what he didn't do and why i'm in such a rage...honestly, i'm sure he's glad he had a company dinner to go to so he can avoid my anger...
so i go grab pho with my gf and instead of going directly home which i should have done, i ended up going shopping...which of course is always a fucking bad idea considering that i'm always broke...
so armed with my credit card, i hit the store and end up buying this super hot alice and olivia dress which i shouldn't have...surprisingly, i instantly felt better...i justify my transaction by telling myself that if i wear this dress to my bachelorette party next month, then it makes it okay...honestly, i know i shouldn't be shopping when i'm a recovering addict...
so when i'm at the register, i look at the sales lady and ask her what the return policy was...and i'm like, wtf happened to my life? the old Lo would never ask such a question...i would buy crap and know i would keep the item and now i have to think about it?
so anyway, i purchase the dress and go home and try it on with my high heels on and think to myself, wow, i look beautiful despite my coke bottles, uncombed hair, and big ears.
so yes, i feel slightly better...maybe enough so where i don't go completely nuts on my fiance for not defending my honor...anyway, i will spend the rest of this evening feeling sorry for myself....i know...woe is my life. xoxo.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
indecent proposal
last nite, instead of being productive and working on my menu for an upcoming business meeting, i spent it playing indecent proposal with a friend of mine...to protect his identity, let's call him "A"...
so the conversation began about how he was saying how he was like robert redford from indecent proposal...since i've never seen the movie, the question he posed to me was...would u sleep with someone for a million dollars?
so followed is our facebook chat conversation after he poses the question:
9:56pm Lo
i'll do it for $20. that would cover my taxi cab ride back home, right? actually, it depends...is the guy cute?
9:56pm A
yes. well, he's professional and clean
liek robert redford
might be a little older
be honest
9:57pm Lo
hmmm...if he's older, maybe i'll charge another $5
seriously...honestly...hmmm
i actually wouldn't
actually, am i married or just in a relationship?
9:58pm A
i think it means you're married for say a few weeks
1 million dollars. no strings attached.
9:58pm Lo
this is a toughie
dude...u know if a guy is gonna pay a million dollars for me, he's obviously gonna fall in love with me
9:59pm A
doesn't matter. he'll move on.
9:59pm Lo
okay..no strings attached..
honestly, i wouldn't do it
9:59pm A
just sex. he'll be respectful and polite
9:59pm Lo
i know...i'm lame
10:00pm A
you're not lame.
10:00pm Lo
i'd rather be the one paying someone for sex
*****
so i ask my fiance if he would be okay if someone paid him a million dollars to sleep with me for one night...and he's like, "no." i was like, don't be stupid...it's a fucking million dollars!!!
and he's like, "well, if some girl wanted to sleep with me for $10, would u let that happen?" i was like, "hell yes...it's $10, right? i'd let her have u for $5" and then he gets upset with me and hurt that i can easily give him away...haha...
my fiance then tells me that if i sold him for $5, it wouldn't be an indecent proposal but rather, a "casual transaction"...which of course causes me to bust out laughing...
so onto more serious stuff...i've got this business meeting tonite which i'm totally psyched about...it has to do with food and stuff...
oh yeah, my gf [let's call her J] tells me my ex contacted her [whom he hasn't even spoken to in like a year] several days ago inquiring her about "jewelry"...i found it odd cause when i was dating him, he didn't even like her [actually, he didn't like any of my friends cause he's a douchebag...btw...that's a red flag if a guy you're dating tries to keep you away from your friends]...but honestly, i know he only contacted her to like subliminally send me a message that he's prolly looking for a ring to propose to his girlfriend...so J tells me she didn't want to tell me cause she was afraid i'd hurt and i'm like, honestly, i'm happy that he has found someone who can tolerate his ass...i'm utterly happy to finally get out of that relationship...i swear, my ex was perfect on paper but being with him was a nightmare...and i'm sure he'll say the same about me...i told J that if i had wanted to be with him, i for one, wouldn't have been cheating on him nor would i have been such a bitch to him...i stuck around despite him being physically and verbally abusive cause he did have a good side to him sometimes but at the end of the day, i was over it...i honestly think we broke up like every other day...it was one of those insane relationships and in looking back, i have no idea why i even allowed myself to be with someone like him...actually, i know why...cause i was busy playing love games with my ex ex and after it was all over, i was in these stupid relationships cause i was beyond needy and was willing to date anyone who wanted to be with me...i know...i'm lame...oh wells...so i basically told J that i really hope he treats his current gf well and i really hope they're happy together...i'm just glad he's out of my life and honestly, i think my last relationship is the only relationship i've had where i wished it never happened...but what i've learned from being with the ex is that money doesn't make u happy...it just buys u crap u don't need...and if anything, it allowed me to look at my best friend [aka my fiance] and for the first time in the five years that we've been friends and realize how immensely awesome he is...like he doesn't have to buy me crap to make me happy or take me anywhere fabulous like my past bfs...rather, our greatest moments are just anytime we get to spend together...i know..utterly cheesy...okay...i'll stop...i'm making myself wanna barf...
i better go take my shower and get ready for my business meeting...this meeting may potentially change my life...wish me luck!!! xoxo...
so the conversation began about how he was saying how he was like robert redford from indecent proposal...since i've never seen the movie, the question he posed to me was...would u sleep with someone for a million dollars?
so followed is our facebook chat conversation after he poses the question:
9:56pm Lo
i'll do it for $20. that would cover my taxi cab ride back home, right? actually, it depends...is the guy cute?
9:56pm A
yes. well, he's professional and clean
liek robert redford
might be a little older
be honest
9:57pm Lo
hmmm...if he's older, maybe i'll charge another $5
seriously...honestly...hmmm
i actually wouldn't
actually, am i married or just in a relationship?
9:58pm A
i think it means you're married for say a few weeks
1 million dollars. no strings attached.
9:58pm Lo
this is a toughie
dude...u know if a guy is gonna pay a million dollars for me, he's obviously gonna fall in love with me
9:59pm A
doesn't matter. he'll move on.
9:59pm Lo
okay..no strings attached..
honestly, i wouldn't do it
9:59pm A
just sex. he'll be respectful and polite
9:59pm Lo
i know...i'm lame
10:00pm A
you're not lame.
10:00pm Lo
i'd rather be the one paying someone for sex
*****
so i ask my fiance if he would be okay if someone paid him a million dollars to sleep with me for one night...and he's like, "no." i was like, don't be stupid...it's a fucking million dollars!!!
and he's like, "well, if some girl wanted to sleep with me for $10, would u let that happen?" i was like, "hell yes...it's $10, right? i'd let her have u for $5" and then he gets upset with me and hurt that i can easily give him away...haha...
my fiance then tells me that if i sold him for $5, it wouldn't be an indecent proposal but rather, a "casual transaction"...which of course causes me to bust out laughing...
so onto more serious stuff...i've got this business meeting tonite which i'm totally psyched about...it has to do with food and stuff...
oh yeah, my gf [let's call her J] tells me my ex contacted her [whom he hasn't even spoken to in like a year] several days ago inquiring her about "jewelry"...i found it odd cause when i was dating him, he didn't even like her [actually, he didn't like any of my friends cause he's a douchebag...btw...that's a red flag if a guy you're dating tries to keep you away from your friends]...but honestly, i know he only contacted her to like subliminally send me a message that he's prolly looking for a ring to propose to his girlfriend...so J tells me she didn't want to tell me cause she was afraid i'd hurt and i'm like, honestly, i'm happy that he has found someone who can tolerate his ass...i'm utterly happy to finally get out of that relationship...i swear, my ex was perfect on paper but being with him was a nightmare...and i'm sure he'll say the same about me...i told J that if i had wanted to be with him, i for one, wouldn't have been cheating on him nor would i have been such a bitch to him...i stuck around despite him being physically and verbally abusive cause he did have a good side to him sometimes but at the end of the day, i was over it...i honestly think we broke up like every other day...it was one of those insane relationships and in looking back, i have no idea why i even allowed myself to be with someone like him...actually, i know why...cause i was busy playing love games with my ex ex and after it was all over, i was in these stupid relationships cause i was beyond needy and was willing to date anyone who wanted to be with me...i know...i'm lame...oh wells...so i basically told J that i really hope he treats his current gf well and i really hope they're happy together...i'm just glad he's out of my life and honestly, i think my last relationship is the only relationship i've had where i wished it never happened...but what i've learned from being with the ex is that money doesn't make u happy...it just buys u crap u don't need...and if anything, it allowed me to look at my best friend [aka my fiance] and for the first time in the five years that we've been friends and realize how immensely awesome he is...like he doesn't have to buy me crap to make me happy or take me anywhere fabulous like my past bfs...rather, our greatest moments are just anytime we get to spend together...i know..utterly cheesy...okay...i'll stop...i'm making myself wanna barf...
i better go take my shower and get ready for my business meeting...this meeting may potentially change my life...wish me luck!!! xoxo...
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
NOTORIOUS b.i.g. : a movie review
my last nite was spent watching notorious with the boo and i have to say...the movie was surprisingly not bad...i swear, like biggie smalls is like obese, yet he's able to like get all these hoes and i'm like...i don't get it...like in the movie, he's caught cheating on his wife, Faith, and she takes him back cause he makes these silly faces...like every time he's caught doing something bad, he makes these silly faces like he's fucking three years old and then he's forgiven...i'm like, wtf? and what i don't get is if i was like some singer like Faith, why would i even marry a guy like Biggie? like seriously...i definitely would have been all over tupac for sure...
so while we're watching the movie, i sing along to some of the songs and my fiance is like..."how do u know the lyrics?"...and i'm like, "i'm gangsta biatch...i'm gangsta." okay, i'm not really gangsta but unlike my fiance, i didn't grow up in suburbia...i grew up in the ghetto and by ghetto, basically stuck in my room creating arts and crafts...yes, i'm a loser.
so after the movie, i force my fiance to practice our first dance together cause i have two left feet...we practice for about half an hour before i get bored...
i'm currently in the process of continuously working on wedding stuff...i swear, it never ends...tonite i'm getting my hair and make up done to see what i'd look like at the wedding...i swear, i really hope i don't look like a crack whore...
oh yeah...my ladies are in the process of planning my bachelorette party for next month and this is seriously the emails that are being sent:
to set this story up...basically, we're discussing where to stay in vegas:
F: Venetian is lil more.. but the prob is bathroom.. its gonna be uncomfortable, 6 girls with one bathroom? crazy for sure :)
these are prices per person (2 nights @ Wynn). T, J, A and I agreed that its a good deal. (p.s. this is before Lo's share)
$200-210 flight plus hotel
$80-90 hotel only for driving people
Lo, yes please let us know as soon as you find out. We plan to book before this week ends.. we each will share the room with 3 girls= total 11
Room 1- A + 3
Room 2- J + 3
Room 3- F + 2
If anyone wants to fly, check out expedia. its $120 roundtrip. or let me know if you wanna fly together (6 pm flight). maybe the rest of the girls can rent a SUV and carpool to save?
N: Hey Everyone!
So I went on the Encore website, and saw that a suite for 2 nights is $521 less a $75 credit, so $446, and we can get two adjoining suites for $892 total. So roughly around $90/person for two suites at Encore which sounds pretty good, and that new club is at Encore too which we could hit one of those night's we're there. The only thing is that the deal is only for king bed suites, so I figure 3 girls on a bed, 1 on the sofa, and someone picks straws for the floor? Let me know if this sounds good and I'll go ahead and book it today. As for the car situation, sounds like some people are flying? Can you email me individually if you're flying and I can make a list? I'll be driving a car and with so many people flying, we might not need to rent a car.
K: encore suites are hella small. i was just there. i think we should pick a hotel w/ bigger suites liek venetian
F: just checked Venetian suite. 2 queen bed, 1 sofa bed so 6 ppl ok. it $1121 so divided by 10 is $112..
L: i will sleep on the floor. i figure ill be drunk anyways.
i will be riding in the carzoe with mis hermanas.
yay to my first bachelorette party!
K: 3 huynh sisters in 1 room is gonna be ka-razy!!!!
N: Yea, a Huynh sister will be punched in the face by 3 am Saturday. So if everyone is okay with Venetian, then I'll book today. It does work out better - everyone has a place to sleep and we can prolly get adjoining suites.
Lo: fyi...so the huynh sisters will NOT be renting out a car...i think nhan is gonna drive us so we can fit two more people in her car...so since she's driving, the other four people in the car can just split the cost of gas if u wanna carpool with us...just let us know...did u guys wanna book the hotel before A gets back to me? let me know so i can tell him he no longer has to look into it...xoxo, Lo.
p.s. yeah...somehow i feel there will be DRAMA with the huynh sisters...why do i feel like one of us is gonna get punched in the face? haha...
K: u will prob end up punchign each other in the face.haha
F: no one's gonna get punched in the face, hope not.. (how about huynh sisters will be splited in 2 suiites haha) but lil drama will be fine :)
****************
so basically, the gist of the emails besides our attempt at searching for the cheapest hotel is that one of the huynh sisters may get punched in the face...i swear, this will be the best bachelorette party like EVER!!! xoxo.
now i'm off to more practicing some dancing...i hate my life...and by hate, love it. p.s. from this point on, my nickname is Lil Lo cause i was the 4th hoe in biggie smalls life...they didn't include me in the movie cause i told them our love story was so great, it really had to be private...don't want the public to like, u know, shoot it down and be all jealous cause our romance was bigger than life...okay...i really need to stop being all delusional...need to take my prozac now...haha...
so while we're watching the movie, i sing along to some of the songs and my fiance is like..."how do u know the lyrics?"...and i'm like, "i'm gangsta biatch...i'm gangsta." okay, i'm not really gangsta but unlike my fiance, i didn't grow up in suburbia...i grew up in the ghetto and by ghetto, basically stuck in my room creating arts and crafts...yes, i'm a loser.
so after the movie, i force my fiance to practice our first dance together cause i have two left feet...we practice for about half an hour before i get bored...
i'm currently in the process of continuously working on wedding stuff...i swear, it never ends...tonite i'm getting my hair and make up done to see what i'd look like at the wedding...i swear, i really hope i don't look like a crack whore...
oh yeah...my ladies are in the process of planning my bachelorette party for next month and this is seriously the emails that are being sent:
to set this story up...basically, we're discussing where to stay in vegas:
F: Venetian is lil more.. but the prob is bathroom.. its gonna be uncomfortable, 6 girls with one bathroom? crazy for sure :)
these are prices per person (2 nights @ Wynn). T, J, A and I agreed that its a good deal. (p.s. this is before Lo's share)
$200-210 flight plus hotel
$80-90 hotel only for driving people
Lo, yes please let us know as soon as you find out. We plan to book before this week ends.. we each will share the room with 3 girls= total 11
Room 1- A + 3
Room 2- J + 3
Room 3- F + 2
If anyone wants to fly, check out expedia. its $120 roundtrip. or let me know if you wanna fly together (6 pm flight). maybe the rest of the girls can rent a SUV and carpool to save?
N: Hey Everyone!
So I went on the Encore website, and saw that a suite for 2 nights is $521 less a $75 credit, so $446, and we can get two adjoining suites for $892 total. So roughly around $90/person for two suites at Encore which sounds pretty good, and that new club is at Encore too which we could hit one of those night's we're there. The only thing is that the deal is only for king bed suites, so I figure 3 girls on a bed, 1 on the sofa, and someone picks straws for the floor? Let me know if this sounds good and I'll go ahead and book it today. As for the car situation, sounds like some people are flying? Can you email me individually if you're flying and I can make a list? I'll be driving a car and with so many people flying, we might not need to rent a car.
K: encore suites are hella small. i was just there. i think we should pick a hotel w/ bigger suites liek venetian
F: just checked Venetian suite. 2 queen bed, 1 sofa bed so 6 ppl ok. it $1121 so divided by 10 is $112..
L: i will sleep on the floor. i figure ill be drunk anyways.
i will be riding in the carzoe with mis hermanas.
yay to my first bachelorette party!
K: 3 huynh sisters in 1 room is gonna be ka-razy!!!!
N: Yea, a Huynh sister will be punched in the face by 3 am Saturday. So if everyone is okay with Venetian, then I'll book today. It does work out better - everyone has a place to sleep and we can prolly get adjoining suites.
Lo: fyi...so the huynh sisters will NOT be renting out a car...i think nhan is gonna drive us so we can fit two more people in her car...so since she's driving, the other four people in the car can just split the cost of gas if u wanna carpool with us...just let us know...did u guys wanna book the hotel before A gets back to me? let me know so i can tell him he no longer has to look into it...xoxo, Lo.
p.s. yeah...somehow i feel there will be DRAMA with the huynh sisters...why do i feel like one of us is gonna get punched in the face? haha...
K: u will prob end up punchign each other in the face.haha
F: no one's gonna get punched in the face, hope not.. (how about huynh sisters will be splited in 2 suiites haha) but lil drama will be fine :)
****************
so basically, the gist of the emails besides our attempt at searching for the cheapest hotel is that one of the huynh sisters may get punched in the face...i swear, this will be the best bachelorette party like EVER!!! xoxo.
now i'm off to more practicing some dancing...i hate my life...and by hate, love it. p.s. from this point on, my nickname is Lil Lo cause i was the 4th hoe in biggie smalls life...they didn't include me in the movie cause i told them our love story was so great, it really had to be private...don't want the public to like, u know, shoot it down and be all jealous cause our romance was bigger than life...okay...i really need to stop being all delusional...need to take my prozac now...haha...
Sunday, June 7, 2009
my yesterday
yesterday was completely nuts...my morning started off with heading to the OC for a dance lesson with my fiance which obviously ended up being disastrous...we're basically trying to learn to dance for our wedding...my fiance isn't bad but i'm completely and utterly a total mess...what i quickly learned is that i can't dance for shit...apparently, all this time when i go clubbing and wriggling around, i've lied to myself and told myself i was dancing when in reality, i was just wriggling around in a drunken stupor...i currently hate myself big time...so my fiance is dancing and joking around and i'm under a huge amount of stress because i'm bad at rhythm or memorizing my 4 dance steps and so i just spend my time yelling at him...our choreographer looks at me and keeps demonstrating the steps over and over and over again and i can't seem to get it...after 2 hours, i decided to quit...i realized i'm a lost cause and take pity on myself...
we then head to a wedding but before the wedding, we grabbed some sushi at hide on sawtelle...that was delish...and then we run off to our friends' wedding...i swear, what is up with weddings where it always makes u tear up cause the couple is sooo damn nice and sweet and then u feel all moved and wanna cry?...i wonder if people will feel like that at my wedding...somehow, i highly doubt it...my friends will prolly be like, "that bitch is finally married...good riddance...now we no longer have to hang out with her." my family members will be like, "finally, some dude to take her away and deal with her problems." yes, it will be the most romantic wedding like ever...
right after the wedding, my fiance and i had to hit our gf's lingerie hello kitty casino night birthday party in torrance...so i had to change into my grandma lingerie in the car...it was great...so i was gonna wear this sexy white camisole hot shorts lingerie number but my fiance looked at it before i was heading out and he was like, "No" so i got stuck with the most grandma looking lingerie i could find...i even paired it with my granny panties...well...it was good that i didn't wear my sexy lingerie cause i didn't want the other girls to get all jealous cause i'm soooo hot...u know, with my flat chest and stumpy legs...and yes, i look like a boy naked except with long hair that i never comb...it's funny cause my fiance is always like, "u look hot" and i stare at him and think, "i'm glad he's delusional."
okay...so back to this party and NOT me...so we get there and we're greeted with a shot of vodka that we're supposed to take...i decline cause i know i have to leave the party early to go home and practice my dance number a little bit more before i see the choreographer again the next morning...the girl at the door says, "u have to take a shot per request of the bday girl." i look at her very menacing and say, "uh...uhmmm...uh...no." and then the guy at the door wants to take a pic of me and my fiance and i'm like, dude...i can't get a picture of myself in fucking grandma lingerie...cause it's obvious what's gonna happen to this picture...the next thing u know, i'm on maxim cause i'm really that hot and not getting paid for my hawtness...yes, that's my issue with that pic being taken and the fact that i didn't sign a release waiver for it...actually, the only reason why i didn't want to get my pic taken was cause i looked like crap and i knew it...oh wells..on yeah...so back to this party...
we go upstairs and the whole room is decked out in hello kitty stuff...that is my dream...to have my home decked out in hello kitty stuff...i kid...i'd only decorate my bedroom like that...cause hello kitty in the bedroom is always sexy...i'm sure my fiance would love that...so there's this dj spinning...it was pretty cool...so the ladies arrive and they're in the skimpiest lingerie which of course makes me feel like all shitty cause i look like their grandma...and what's worse is that some of the ladies brought their kids to this party and yet they were able to look hot in their skimpy lingerie and i was stuck looking seriously lame...oh yeah...there were kids at this party...which honestly, i don't mind cause i fucking love kids and by love kids, able to tolerate them for like 5 minutes before i quickly get bored and return them to their mother...so anyway, all these hot chicks are prancing around in sexy lingerie and then we've got these two adorable boys running around....actually, one boy was running around cause he's two years old and the other one is like one so his mom was busy like holding him...
my two gfs arrive and they were also dressed in grandma lingerie to my relief...we all looked lame together...there's safety in numbers for me...anyway, to make a super long story short...the party was fun and then i ended up cutting out early to go home and practice more of my dancing but after 30 minutes, i realized i still suck and went to bed...i know...it's very sad...honestly, what fucking makes this really and uberly sad is the fact that i have now come to terms that i can never make it as a stripper...i swear, how am i gonna make ends meet when my fiance wakes up one day, realizes i'm nuts, and leaves me alone with our kid that is "allegedly" his? i've heard stories where douchebags leave their wives after the wife has the kid and the guy is like, "i'm no longer attracted to u." i'm like, wtf? i only fucking just had a 10 lbs. baby that came out of my fucking private part...how about u try busting a kid out of your ass? let's see if u still look attractive...i swear, men can be douchebags....honestly, i'm not worried if my fiance ends up leaving me after we have a kid...i mean, that's what alimony and child support is for...so it's like having two incomes if u don't spend your child support money on the kid...it's great...i kid...and by kid, i'll prolly be the one forced to pay child support cause my fiance knows i'll most likely not want to keep the kid...cause u know, it'll cramp my dating and going out clubbing life...
okay...i better go practice some more dancing before i see the choreographer...hopefully, she doesn't yell at me...xoxo...
we then head to a wedding but before the wedding, we grabbed some sushi at hide on sawtelle...that was delish...and then we run off to our friends' wedding...i swear, what is up with weddings where it always makes u tear up cause the couple is sooo damn nice and sweet and then u feel all moved and wanna cry?...i wonder if people will feel like that at my wedding...somehow, i highly doubt it...my friends will prolly be like, "that bitch is finally married...good riddance...now we no longer have to hang out with her." my family members will be like, "finally, some dude to take her away and deal with her problems." yes, it will be the most romantic wedding like ever...
right after the wedding, my fiance and i had to hit our gf's lingerie hello kitty casino night birthday party in torrance...so i had to change into my grandma lingerie in the car...it was great...so i was gonna wear this sexy white camisole hot shorts lingerie number but my fiance looked at it before i was heading out and he was like, "No" so i got stuck with the most grandma looking lingerie i could find...i even paired it with my granny panties...well...it was good that i didn't wear my sexy lingerie cause i didn't want the other girls to get all jealous cause i'm soooo hot...u know, with my flat chest and stumpy legs...and yes, i look like a boy naked except with long hair that i never comb...it's funny cause my fiance is always like, "u look hot" and i stare at him and think, "i'm glad he's delusional."
okay...so back to this party and NOT me...so we get there and we're greeted with a shot of vodka that we're supposed to take...i decline cause i know i have to leave the party early to go home and practice my dance number a little bit more before i see the choreographer again the next morning...the girl at the door says, "u have to take a shot per request of the bday girl." i look at her very menacing and say, "uh...uhmmm...uh...no." and then the guy at the door wants to take a pic of me and my fiance and i'm like, dude...i can't get a picture of myself in fucking grandma lingerie...cause it's obvious what's gonna happen to this picture...the next thing u know, i'm on maxim cause i'm really that hot and not getting paid for my hawtness...yes, that's my issue with that pic being taken and the fact that i didn't sign a release waiver for it...actually, the only reason why i didn't want to get my pic taken was cause i looked like crap and i knew it...oh wells..on yeah...so back to this party...
we go upstairs and the whole room is decked out in hello kitty stuff...that is my dream...to have my home decked out in hello kitty stuff...i kid...i'd only decorate my bedroom like that...cause hello kitty in the bedroom is always sexy...i'm sure my fiance would love that...so there's this dj spinning...it was pretty cool...so the ladies arrive and they're in the skimpiest lingerie which of course makes me feel like all shitty cause i look like their grandma...and what's worse is that some of the ladies brought their kids to this party and yet they were able to look hot in their skimpy lingerie and i was stuck looking seriously lame...oh yeah...there were kids at this party...which honestly, i don't mind cause i fucking love kids and by love kids, able to tolerate them for like 5 minutes before i quickly get bored and return them to their mother...so anyway, all these hot chicks are prancing around in sexy lingerie and then we've got these two adorable boys running around....actually, one boy was running around cause he's two years old and the other one is like one so his mom was busy like holding him...
my two gfs arrive and they were also dressed in grandma lingerie to my relief...we all looked lame together...there's safety in numbers for me...anyway, to make a super long story short...the party was fun and then i ended up cutting out early to go home and practice more of my dancing but after 30 minutes, i realized i still suck and went to bed...i know...it's very sad...honestly, what fucking makes this really and uberly sad is the fact that i have now come to terms that i can never make it as a stripper...i swear, how am i gonna make ends meet when my fiance wakes up one day, realizes i'm nuts, and leaves me alone with our kid that is "allegedly" his? i've heard stories where douchebags leave their wives after the wife has the kid and the guy is like, "i'm no longer attracted to u." i'm like, wtf? i only fucking just had a 10 lbs. baby that came out of my fucking private part...how about u try busting a kid out of your ass? let's see if u still look attractive...i swear, men can be douchebags....honestly, i'm not worried if my fiance ends up leaving me after we have a kid...i mean, that's what alimony and child support is for...so it's like having two incomes if u don't spend your child support money on the kid...it's great...i kid...and by kid, i'll prolly be the one forced to pay child support cause my fiance knows i'll most likely not want to keep the kid...cause u know, it'll cramp my dating and going out clubbing life...
okay...i better go practice some more dancing before i see the choreographer...hopefully, she doesn't yell at me...xoxo...
Saturday, May 23, 2009
the sunshine after the storm
currently listening to jack johnson's "better together"...i fucking love that song..
so anyway, my thursday was hellish...my boss comes to me and hands me this box that she wants me to go over and the box is huge....like big...anyway, she's like, "we have to get this thing looked at by tomorrow." i look at her and is like, "seriously?"
honestly, for me to complete that project, it would have taken me and my co-worker at least 2 days to complete and she tells me this at like 1 pm in the afternoon and i normally leave work at 4 pm...so i get beyond annoyed and enraged...i guess i'm not a procrastinator and i hate working on a project when i'm not given enough time...so around 4 pm, i go to my boss and basically tell her it's not gonna happen...she looks at me and is like, "can u work on it for another hour?" i'm thinking to myself, what does that accomplish? basically nothing cause i would seriously need another 20 hours to complete the project...it was total bullshit so i was all upset cause it was my thursday and i just wanted to go home...i'm obviously not a team player...so i stay for another hour and then leave...
i get home and have a cow with my fiance...he knows what he did or rather, what he didn't do...i can't really disclose that information...but anyway, after 6 hours of him apologizing, all was forgiven...
so my thursday was pretty bad...i know...woe is me...
my friday was a billion times better...i head to starbucks in the morning for some iced tea...so i get a venti sweetened black iced tea cause i didn't wanna fork the money for a black iced tea lemonade...so as i'm about to hand over my card, the barista guy says to me, "don't worry about it." i was like, "seriously?" that totally made my day...especially after such a devastating thursday...i swear, it must have been my coke bottles, my oversized ucla sweatpants i was wearing, or my brand new $15 haircut...well, whatever it was, thanks for the iced tea barista dude!!! ...then again, maybe he gave it to me cause i looked like a homeless person and pitied me...well, whatever the reason, i just saved myself $2...it's awesome..i knew in my heart that it was going to be the beginning of a beautiful day....
i then head over to my mom's house to get laundry done and hang out with my sister, N. i went with her for her lasik follow-up appointment and then she went to get her hair straightened out permanently at some korean beauty shop...getting her hair straightened was like $240 with tip...i was like, holy shit...that's craploads of money...but she looks good...so it's all good...
we then grabbed some thai food where she got pad thai and i opted for the house boat noodles...i swear, that stuff is sooooo good...it's got liver, beef balls, and tripe in it...totally delish...
we came home and our relatives from texas had stopped by...one of my cousins brought her two kids...she's 36 and has two adorable kids...seriously made me think i wanted a child...that's how cute they were...my mom had gotten them candy and i looked at my mom and was like, "mom...if i ever have kids, please don't feed them candy." i swear, that's soooo disgusting...i know, i'm a hypocrite cause i love love candy but i can't imagine giving my child something that will rot their teeth...yes, i'm gonna make the best mom ever...
i then finished doing my laundry and went home...
i began to clean and then ended up hitting chan dara with one of my bridesman for dinner...
so i meet "A" out...so we're sitting there and the waitress begins to inform us how she didn't do well on her political science test and A tells me she's going to school to be a designer...she says stuff like, "yeah..on the test, they asked me about nixon and i don't know what that is." and A proceeds to tell her to like pick the letter "A" as the answer choice...and then she's like, "yeah...we had to figure out who saved who" and A was like, "just put down james bond cause he saves people" and our waitress was like, "really? ...no really?" and giggles and i look at A and was like, "i don't think she thinks you're joking." she then later comes back and was like, "did u know Rachel [names have been changed] is going to florida? like she just left." i'm like, thinking to myself, that's interesting...like really. and then the waitress and A spends like fifteen minutes talking about her co-worker who left for florida...i was like, i don't think i could ever waitress at chan dara...for one thing, i don't have the cutesy look nor apparently, have interesting stories to tell my clients...i mean, patrons, i mean customers...
another really hot waitress comes over and tells us how she'll be hitting japan and thailand...she informs us how she'll be hitting vegas to catch some rock band and tells us we should go to...A is down and she tells me i should come...i'm like, "no." i swear, i should have just said yes even if i wasn't gonna go....what the fuck is wrong with me???? cause of course the next ten minutes is spent, "why don't u wanna party with us?"
so A and i finally get to catch up in person...A seriously had two bites of his food so there was a billion leftovers which he didn't want to take with him so i was like, "i'll take it." it'll save me from cooking for the rest of the week...it's great...he then walks me to my car where we see some guy pissing next to his car....i swear, greatest nite ever...
i then decide to drive A back to his car...so he opens my car door and scrapes the bottom of the door on the concrete sidewalk...he attempts to pet the bottom of the door cause u know, that will take off the scrape that he has just caused on the car door...i laugh...luckily for him, i'm not in love with my car or else i would have had a cow....
so i drop A back to his car and go home...put fresh sheets on my bed and watch the ending of sex and the city on the CW....i swear, the perfect ending to a fabulous day...like seriously....xoox....
so anyway, my thursday was hellish...my boss comes to me and hands me this box that she wants me to go over and the box is huge....like big...anyway, she's like, "we have to get this thing looked at by tomorrow." i look at her and is like, "seriously?"
honestly, for me to complete that project, it would have taken me and my co-worker at least 2 days to complete and she tells me this at like 1 pm in the afternoon and i normally leave work at 4 pm...so i get beyond annoyed and enraged...i guess i'm not a procrastinator and i hate working on a project when i'm not given enough time...so around 4 pm, i go to my boss and basically tell her it's not gonna happen...she looks at me and is like, "can u work on it for another hour?" i'm thinking to myself, what does that accomplish? basically nothing cause i would seriously need another 20 hours to complete the project...it was total bullshit so i was all upset cause it was my thursday and i just wanted to go home...i'm obviously not a team player...so i stay for another hour and then leave...
i get home and have a cow with my fiance...he knows what he did or rather, what he didn't do...i can't really disclose that information...but anyway, after 6 hours of him apologizing, all was forgiven...
so my thursday was pretty bad...i know...woe is me...
my friday was a billion times better...i head to starbucks in the morning for some iced tea...so i get a venti sweetened black iced tea cause i didn't wanna fork the money for a black iced tea lemonade...so as i'm about to hand over my card, the barista guy says to me, "don't worry about it." i was like, "seriously?" that totally made my day...especially after such a devastating thursday...i swear, it must have been my coke bottles, my oversized ucla sweatpants i was wearing, or my brand new $15 haircut...well, whatever it was, thanks for the iced tea barista dude!!! ...then again, maybe he gave it to me cause i looked like a homeless person and pitied me...well, whatever the reason, i just saved myself $2...it's awesome..i knew in my heart that it was going to be the beginning of a beautiful day....
i then head over to my mom's house to get laundry done and hang out with my sister, N. i went with her for her lasik follow-up appointment and then she went to get her hair straightened out permanently at some korean beauty shop...getting her hair straightened was like $240 with tip...i was like, holy shit...that's craploads of money...but she looks good...so it's all good...
we then grabbed some thai food where she got pad thai and i opted for the house boat noodles...i swear, that stuff is sooooo good...it's got liver, beef balls, and tripe in it...totally delish...
we came home and our relatives from texas had stopped by...one of my cousins brought her two kids...she's 36 and has two adorable kids...seriously made me think i wanted a child...that's how cute they were...my mom had gotten them candy and i looked at my mom and was like, "mom...if i ever have kids, please don't feed them candy." i swear, that's soooo disgusting...i know, i'm a hypocrite cause i love love candy but i can't imagine giving my child something that will rot their teeth...yes, i'm gonna make the best mom ever...
i then finished doing my laundry and went home...
i began to clean and then ended up hitting chan dara with one of my bridesman for dinner...
so i meet "A" out...so we're sitting there and the waitress begins to inform us how she didn't do well on her political science test and A tells me she's going to school to be a designer...she says stuff like, "yeah..on the test, they asked me about nixon and i don't know what that is." and A proceeds to tell her to like pick the letter "A" as the answer choice...and then she's like, "yeah...we had to figure out who saved who" and A was like, "just put down james bond cause he saves people" and our waitress was like, "really? ...no really?" and giggles and i look at A and was like, "i don't think she thinks you're joking." she then later comes back and was like, "did u know Rachel [names have been changed] is going to florida? like she just left." i'm like, thinking to myself, that's interesting...like really. and then the waitress and A spends like fifteen minutes talking about her co-worker who left for florida...i was like, i don't think i could ever waitress at chan dara...for one thing, i don't have the cutesy look nor apparently, have interesting stories to tell my clients...i mean, patrons, i mean customers...
another really hot waitress comes over and tells us how she'll be hitting japan and thailand...she informs us how she'll be hitting vegas to catch some rock band and tells us we should go to...A is down and she tells me i should come...i'm like, "no." i swear, i should have just said yes even if i wasn't gonna go....what the fuck is wrong with me???? cause of course the next ten minutes is spent, "why don't u wanna party with us?"
so A and i finally get to catch up in person...A seriously had two bites of his food so there was a billion leftovers which he didn't want to take with him so i was like, "i'll take it." it'll save me from cooking for the rest of the week...it's great...he then walks me to my car where we see some guy pissing next to his car....i swear, greatest nite ever...
i then decide to drive A back to his car...so he opens my car door and scrapes the bottom of the door on the concrete sidewalk...he attempts to pet the bottom of the door cause u know, that will take off the scrape that he has just caused on the car door...i laugh...luckily for him, i'm not in love with my car or else i would have had a cow....
so i drop A back to his car and go home...put fresh sheets on my bed and watch the ending of sex and the city on the CW....i swear, the perfect ending to a fabulous day...like seriously....xoox....
Thursday, May 14, 2009
confession...i shopped at jcPenney
after work today, i stopped by jcPenney cause i was flipping thru their ad today and saw hair spray for like half off...so i was like, whoa...that's cheap...gotta get me some of that...
so anyway, i enter jc Penney and the next thing i know, i find myself buying their clothes...i was like...what? huh? i'm a bloomies girl...what am i doing buying clothes at jc Penney?...this is where the lower middle class shop...and yes, i am lower middle class but i obviously like to live beyond my means...i mean, if it's not from bloomies, i will usually not purchase it...why? cause i'm a label whore...well, to be quite honest, an ex-label whore...i'm an ex-shopaholic...ever since my paycheck at work got cut cause the economy sux ass, i've been having to learn not to spend so much...i have to admit...it totally sucks...
so at jcPenney, i buy this shirt for $7.50 and this super cute jersey dress for $7.50 cause they have this thing where if u buy something on clearance, u get the second item for like 50% off...i'm like, wtf is this? bloomies never has sales like this...i was like, this is totally nuts...honestly, the items i got looked very juicy couturish...i was quite proud of myself...
so yes...i now am a jcPenney shopper...there i said it...it's all good...i actually can't wait to sport my new duds out...i'm gonna look oh sooo cute...i'm soo sure...
so anyway, before hitting, apparently my new favorite store [jcPenney], i had to go get my flowers for my wedding taken care of...i had gotten a phone call from my florist saying that they will be closing shop next month due to the crappy economy so of course i freak out...i'm like, craps...i need my flowers!!! so anyway, i hit another floral shop and managed to actually get my flowers for cheaper than the previous floral shop...i totally scored today...cheap flowers for my wedding and cheap new clothes!!! it's been one productive day...
tomorrow will be spent getting laundry done, driving my sister to get lasik, and chilling out with my fiance before he has to head off to chicago for a week...oh yeah, we have a wedding to hit on saturday which i'm totally psyched about...it's gonna kinda suck cause we're gonna be forced to leave the wedding early cause my fiance has an 11 pm flight to catch...i totally wanna stay for the wedding...oh wells...
wow...i think this is officially the most boring blog i've written up to date...i swear, this is the kinda shit that happens when you're in a happy normal relationship and there's no drama to write about...
i bet once i ever have a kid, my blogs are gonna go like this:
today, i fed my kid...and he pooped, and then i bathed him. the end.
xoxxo...
so anyway, i enter jc Penney and the next thing i know, i find myself buying their clothes...i was like...what? huh? i'm a bloomies girl...what am i doing buying clothes at jc Penney?...this is where the lower middle class shop...and yes, i am lower middle class but i obviously like to live beyond my means...i mean, if it's not from bloomies, i will usually not purchase it...why? cause i'm a label whore...well, to be quite honest, an ex-label whore...i'm an ex-shopaholic...ever since my paycheck at work got cut cause the economy sux ass, i've been having to learn not to spend so much...i have to admit...it totally sucks...
so at jcPenney, i buy this shirt for $7.50 and this super cute jersey dress for $7.50 cause they have this thing where if u buy something on clearance, u get the second item for like 50% off...i'm like, wtf is this? bloomies never has sales like this...i was like, this is totally nuts...honestly, the items i got looked very juicy couturish...i was quite proud of myself...
so yes...i now am a jcPenney shopper...there i said it...it's all good...i actually can't wait to sport my new duds out...i'm gonna look oh sooo cute...i'm soo sure...
so anyway, before hitting, apparently my new favorite store [jcPenney], i had to go get my flowers for my wedding taken care of...i had gotten a phone call from my florist saying that they will be closing shop next month due to the crappy economy so of course i freak out...i'm like, craps...i need my flowers!!! so anyway, i hit another floral shop and managed to actually get my flowers for cheaper than the previous floral shop...i totally scored today...cheap flowers for my wedding and cheap new clothes!!! it's been one productive day...
tomorrow will be spent getting laundry done, driving my sister to get lasik, and chilling out with my fiance before he has to head off to chicago for a week...oh yeah, we have a wedding to hit on saturday which i'm totally psyched about...it's gonna kinda suck cause we're gonna be forced to leave the wedding early cause my fiance has an 11 pm flight to catch...i totally wanna stay for the wedding...oh wells...
wow...i think this is officially the most boring blog i've written up to date...i swear, this is the kinda shit that happens when you're in a happy normal relationship and there's no drama to write about...
i bet once i ever have a kid, my blogs are gonna go like this:
today, i fed my kid...and he pooped, and then i bathed him. the end.
xoxxo...
week in review
last nite was spent having pork chops for dinner and watching 7 lbs. with my fiance...that movie was not bad but i didn't think it was that great...if i were to rename the movie, i'd prolly call it, "how to kill yourself with a jellyfish" or "hey, check it out...i'm a douchebag cause i was busy looking at my cellphone while driving so i ended up killing my wife in the process and now i'm gonna be even more selfish and like totally kill myself and give away my body parts because like that's supposed to make it better." i swear, why isn't the entertainment industry hiring me to name their movies? knock on my door people..i need a second job!!! wow...i sound really desperate...why? cause i am...
yeah..i hate it when movies are too fucking obvious...like seriously, 30 minutes into the movie, i was like, "let me guess...he's not really an IRS agent" and "let me guess, he fucking killed his wife"...and "let me guess...he's gonna kill himself and give away his body parts"...and "let me guess, after he dies, i'm supposed to feel like sad"...honestly, the movie was too cliche...i didn't know anything about the movie besides the fact that he was an IRS agent but it was too easy to guess what was gonna happen next...and btw...i HATE movies where i have to fucking guess what's gonna happen...it's like, dude, i paid for the movie...tell me how it's gonna be...i'm not here to think...so to make a long story short, i didn't feel sad after he like totally killed himself...i was like, dude...you're a total douchebag for like looking at your phone while driving...i told my fiance that if he fucking checks out google maps while driving and i'm in the car and i die, i'd hate him forever...but it really wouldn't matter, would it? i'd be fucking DEAD!!!
so last saturday, i catered a charity event for 200 people..it was fun...i swear, i love love doing catering events but it kinda sucked cause i ended up missing out on my sister's improv show...
sunday was spent grabbing dinner with the family for mother's day...my fiance was in tow cause he's now part of the family...
yesterday at work, i was mad crazy lusting over a cheeseburger and fries and opted to have a brownie for lunch instead...why? well, i figured i'd save myself like 500 calories if i split the brownies and did without the greasy burger and fries...it's good to know that i do have some self-control...sometimes...but by 3 pm, i was super mad hungry so i go to my co-worker's [who is actually my cousin] office and steal her snacks...i'm like, "btw...i'm eating your food...and it's good...i hope you don't mind" and i continue to stuff myself with the rest of her shortbread cookies and candied prunes...delish!!! my other co-worker says to me, "do u drink prune juice? u know it's a laxative, right?" and i'm like, "really? hmmm...i've never drank prune juice before but if it's a laxative, that sounds fabulous...." dude, is prune juice really a laxative? dude...i gotta stop..i am not gonna start consuming prune juice...although losing additional weight would be super great...maybe i can look as anorexic as those girls from beverly hills 90210...dude...i gotta grow up...i'm 30 years old and should be more concerned about like, u know, being healthy...
so anyway, at work, i'm looking at these medical notes and there's some info about what you're supposed to do after like giving birth...it says stupid crap like, "make sure u feed the baby every 1 1/2 to 2 hours"...and i'm like, "u fucking serious? how will i be able to sleep?" so i get home and i tell my fiance, "seriously, once you're ready to like wake up every two hours to feed a child, we can then think about having kids..i mean, one kid." and he's like, "so u want me to feed the kid although you'll be the one not having to go into work?" and i'm like, "yes...do u have a problem with that?" and he's like, "uh...no." i then said, "u realize that we can always adopt..u know.. a kid who is like five years old so we can bypass this breastfeeding crap and avoid me having mommy hips and stretch marks. honestly, it's a win win situation." my fiance is like, "no, i'll love u even if u look like that." and i'm like, "sure...say that now...even i won't love myself." part of me is afraid of not looking like a mother but also having post-partum depression...hello, my life as i've always known it will change...it's nuts...
oh yeah...and then i'm reading the side effects of having a c-section and the notes says stuff like, "the patient has been informed of bleeding, bowel issues, and infection." and i'm like, why don't they just tell us that we're just basically gonna be slaughtered and may not make it out alive? i mean, like seriously, when a doctor tells me this crap when i'm about to give birth, what am i gonna say? like, "seriously doctor...due to those potential side effects, can we just not deliver this baby? u know what? i've decided to just look pregnant like forever and keep this baby inside of me." ...like seriously....
honestly, i know i'm gonna prolly have like one kid but i seriously cannot imagine having more than one...i think it's too nuts...it's like, i used to want to have kids but the more i know about people who actually have kids, i don't think it's that glamorous...if anything, it's the opposite of glamorous and the whole labor thing definitely does not sound fun...and then women like develop all these crazy stuff like strange allergies or gestational diabetes or sun spots on your face, etc. etc...
yeah...like on mother's day, my mom was like, "why don't u guys have a kid after getting married." and i'm just like, "yeah...sure...mom, i can't even afford myself. how am i gonna like pay for a kid? like seriously." on top of that, my fiance may be heading to law school next year and i will NOT be a single mother.
okay...onto to bigger news...my wedding party is finally complete...i've got my maid of honor, my two bridesmaids, and finally, my two bridesMEN!!! it's totally awesome...my bridesmen are basically two really good guy friends i have...i've basically been waiting for my fiance to choose two groomsmen for the last two months and he's been having a hard time with it...so last week, i was like, "u realize our wedding is like in 3 fucking months!!! make a decision!!!"...i then gave him a couple more days and then was like, screw it, i'll just ask my friends...it actually ends up working out perfectly cause i know i'll prolly be a complete stress case on the day of the wedding so i would really need people who know me to handle my spasiness...
craps..i gotta get into work....until next time...xoxoxo....
yeah..i hate it when movies are too fucking obvious...like seriously, 30 minutes into the movie, i was like, "let me guess...he's not really an IRS agent" and "let me guess, he fucking killed his wife"...and "let me guess...he's gonna kill himself and give away his body parts"...and "let me guess, after he dies, i'm supposed to feel like sad"...honestly, the movie was too cliche...i didn't know anything about the movie besides the fact that he was an IRS agent but it was too easy to guess what was gonna happen next...and btw...i HATE movies where i have to fucking guess what's gonna happen...it's like, dude, i paid for the movie...tell me how it's gonna be...i'm not here to think...so to make a long story short, i didn't feel sad after he like totally killed himself...i was like, dude...you're a total douchebag for like looking at your phone while driving...i told my fiance that if he fucking checks out google maps while driving and i'm in the car and i die, i'd hate him forever...but it really wouldn't matter, would it? i'd be fucking DEAD!!!
so last saturday, i catered a charity event for 200 people..it was fun...i swear, i love love doing catering events but it kinda sucked cause i ended up missing out on my sister's improv show...
sunday was spent grabbing dinner with the family for mother's day...my fiance was in tow cause he's now part of the family...
yesterday at work, i was mad crazy lusting over a cheeseburger and fries and opted to have a brownie for lunch instead...why? well, i figured i'd save myself like 500 calories if i split the brownies and did without the greasy burger and fries...it's good to know that i do have some self-control...sometimes...but by 3 pm, i was super mad hungry so i go to my co-worker's [who is actually my cousin] office and steal her snacks...i'm like, "btw...i'm eating your food...and it's good...i hope you don't mind" and i continue to stuff myself with the rest of her shortbread cookies and candied prunes...delish!!! my other co-worker says to me, "do u drink prune juice? u know it's a laxative, right?" and i'm like, "really? hmmm...i've never drank prune juice before but if it's a laxative, that sounds fabulous...." dude, is prune juice really a laxative? dude...i gotta stop..i am not gonna start consuming prune juice...although losing additional weight would be super great...maybe i can look as anorexic as those girls from beverly hills 90210...dude...i gotta grow up...i'm 30 years old and should be more concerned about like, u know, being healthy...
so anyway, at work, i'm looking at these medical notes and there's some info about what you're supposed to do after like giving birth...it says stupid crap like, "make sure u feed the baby every 1 1/2 to 2 hours"...and i'm like, "u fucking serious? how will i be able to sleep?" so i get home and i tell my fiance, "seriously, once you're ready to like wake up every two hours to feed a child, we can then think about having kids..i mean, one kid." and he's like, "so u want me to feed the kid although you'll be the one not having to go into work?" and i'm like, "yes...do u have a problem with that?" and he's like, "uh...no." i then said, "u realize that we can always adopt..u know.. a kid who is like five years old so we can bypass this breastfeeding crap and avoid me having mommy hips and stretch marks. honestly, it's a win win situation." my fiance is like, "no, i'll love u even if u look like that." and i'm like, "sure...say that now...even i won't love myself." part of me is afraid of not looking like a mother but also having post-partum depression...hello, my life as i've always known it will change...it's nuts...
oh yeah...and then i'm reading the side effects of having a c-section and the notes says stuff like, "the patient has been informed of bleeding, bowel issues, and infection." and i'm like, why don't they just tell us that we're just basically gonna be slaughtered and may not make it out alive? i mean, like seriously, when a doctor tells me this crap when i'm about to give birth, what am i gonna say? like, "seriously doctor...due to those potential side effects, can we just not deliver this baby? u know what? i've decided to just look pregnant like forever and keep this baby inside of me." ...like seriously....
honestly, i know i'm gonna prolly have like one kid but i seriously cannot imagine having more than one...i think it's too nuts...it's like, i used to want to have kids but the more i know about people who actually have kids, i don't think it's that glamorous...if anything, it's the opposite of glamorous and the whole labor thing definitely does not sound fun...and then women like develop all these crazy stuff like strange allergies or gestational diabetes or sun spots on your face, etc. etc...
yeah...like on mother's day, my mom was like, "why don't u guys have a kid after getting married." and i'm just like, "yeah...sure...mom, i can't even afford myself. how am i gonna like pay for a kid? like seriously." on top of that, my fiance may be heading to law school next year and i will NOT be a single mother.
okay...onto to bigger news...my wedding party is finally complete...i've got my maid of honor, my two bridesmaids, and finally, my two bridesMEN!!! it's totally awesome...my bridesmen are basically two really good guy friends i have...i've basically been waiting for my fiance to choose two groomsmen for the last two months and he's been having a hard time with it...so last week, i was like, "u realize our wedding is like in 3 fucking months!!! make a decision!!!"...i then gave him a couple more days and then was like, screw it, i'll just ask my friends...it actually ends up working out perfectly cause i know i'll prolly be a complete stress case on the day of the wedding so i would really need people who know me to handle my spasiness...
craps..i gotta get into work....until next time...xoxoxo....
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
i almost died tonite...and not in your arms...u know...like cutting crew.
today was a very bad day...i seriously almost died...basically, i needed a pen and grabbed this blade knife that was on my dining table thinking it was a pen...as i pushed down on the tip with my thumb thinking it was a pen, blood fucking gushing out and i literally wanted to pass out...i wanted to cry for my mama...i hate the site of blood...it makes me beyond queasy...so anyway, i grab a napkin and i easily soak it with my blood...i then clamor for a bandage and then immediately gmail chat my fiance because if he had placed the protector on the blade after using it, i wouldn't have totally stabbed my thumb with it....
so this was our gmail conversation:
me: dude..i'm gonna kill u
so this was our gmail conversation:
me: dude..i'm gonna kill u
i accidentally stabbed myself with the blade knife cause u didn't put the protector thing on it
6:17 PM it fucking hurts
V****: :O
me: i'm totally not having a good day
V****: What knife?
Sorry baby :(
me: the knife u used to cut the caulk thing with
i grabbed it thinking it was a pen and fucking stabbed myself
6:18 PM V****: Oh crap, sorry baby, did you cut yourself deep?
me: not happy right now
it hurts like a fucking bitch and all this blood came out
soaked up a whole napkin
not happy
V***: Omg
me: i think i was about to pass out just having the fucking blood come out
6:19 PM V****: Holy shit baby, should we call a doctor?
me: no
i don't have insurance
V****: You should disinfect the cut too
me: it's okay...no
i'm not putting alcohol on it ...it's gonna fucking hurt like a bitch
6:20 PM i finally managed to bandage it
i'm not opening the bandage...i don't wanna see the damage
6:23 PM V***: Shits baby, really sorry
me: i just wished u had put the protector thing back on after using it
V***: Hmmmmm, you really need to disinfect the cut though, seriously
me: no
it hurts
it's seriously making me cry
6:24 PM i can't inflict additional pain on myself
V***: Fuck, we should see a doctor
me: no
fine...i'll fucking put the alcohol on it
dammit
it's gonna hurt
i just fucking know it
and then i'm gonna pass out when i see the blood coming out again
V****: Yeah, it'll hurt, but its way better than an infection
6:25 PM Was it a deep cut?
6:27 PM me: dammit...that hurt like a bitch
it was pretty deep cause it's a damn blade
6:31 PM V***: Like how deep? If its not a superficial cut we should see a doctor
me: i'm still alive
it's cool
i'm okay now
barely alive...but alive
V***: No, its not okay, I'm freaking out right now
I wanna go home
me: dude..it's your fault
i hate u
u tried to kill me
i almost died
no...honestly, i'm okay now
6:32 PM it stopped bleeding
V***: That's good
me: i was just freaking out initally cause the blood was nuts
6:33 PM but i think i managed to put pressure on it and it stopped
yeah..if it didn't stop, that'd be a bad sing
sign
right now...it's just hurting
6:34 PM okay..i don't hate u
i know it was an accident
6:35 PM V***: A really bad accident
me: yes...u owe my your life
hahaha
V***: K
6:36 PM me: ttyl...
xoxo
so was it really a totally nasty cut? yes...it really was...and was i prolly being uber super dramatic? the answer to that would also be an unequivocal yes...but if i wasn't dramatic, how else would i get my fiance to owe me his life?
one might say i'm manipulative and conniving so that i can get my own way and my response would be...yes, yes, that's true too...
honestly, i was glad when the bleeding stopped...note to self...make sure a blade isn't a pen before i attempt to click on it...i swear...i'm sooo dumb sometimes...
i am totally not having a good day today...for one thing, i'm having women issues which also sucks...it made me miss out on cinco de mayo which is like my fave holiday next to halloween where i get to dress up like a skank and everyone knows it...cinco de mayo is also one of those skanky holidays where u dress up as a skank and as long as you're wearing red, green, and white, it's okay...and u get to drink margaritas and blame looking skanky on being drunk...
so last nite, i had to go to my art class which has been uber amazing...i've been making crap art...i have yet to finish a piece cause i'll make something and realize, it's crap...last nite, as i was waiting for my class to start, these little kids [between the ages of 5 to 8] came out of their class with their artwork and their art looked like crap too...but what's really sad is that their crappy artwork looks sooo much better than the stuff i've been doing and at least they're actually painting their own artwork vs. i'm in this collage class where i just take pictures of stuff and glue it together and it still looks like totally crappy...and i guess the kids have an excuse for their crappy artwork...they're fucking KIDS...while i'm like 30...u know, adult age...i swear...i sometimes really hate myself...i'm worthless...i can't even do well in an art class although last week, one of my classmates told me my artwork was inspiring...i began laughing...if inspiring means painting hot pink on a canvas and calling it art, then yes, i'm inspiring....
so i was like pmsing all last week and this week...i swear, i really feel badly for my fiance...i honestly don't know how he deals with my sorry ass...honestly, i would have dumped myself like a long ass time ago...i really don't deserve him...he's like this amazing person with a heart of gold and i'm a total monster...it's like the movie, "The Love Story" when Oliver looks at Jenny and says to her, "How can u see me and still love me?" well, if i was Jenny in the movie, my answer would have been, "cause you're totally hot and uber rich. what more can a girl want?"
honestly, i know better than to ask my fiance that question cause the answer he would most likely give me is,"you're right...you're totally crazy...i'm outta here." so maybe it's best i don't bring up that question...haha....
so this weekend will be spent catering a charity event in downtown LA...i plan on making :
so i'm just in charge of making three appetizers so those were the three i came up with...yes, it'll be a busy weekend....
my last weekend was somewhat entertaining...i went to a golfing range and hit like some golf balls...that was fun and by fun, it totally sucked...i mean, seriously, how hard is it to hit a ball with a stick? i swear, if i had the proper training, i can be the next tiger woods...i kid...golfing sux and since i have hardcore ADD [which i obviously diagnosed myself with since i don't have insurance so i have yet to have a professional diagnose me], hitting a billion balls one after another is utterly painful...on top of that, my fiance instructed me on wearing the glove thing on the wrong hand...so the entire time, i had this golf glove on my right hand vs. my left hand and i looked like a total idiot which caused me to go nuts cause i was embarrassed i wasn't fitting in with everyone else at the golfing range...let's just put it this way...golfing is not my forte...
the next day, my fiance shot some pics for my gf's dental practice...she wanted to use me as a model for one of her pics...i was supposed to pretend to be a patient which of course ended up being a bad idea...although my gf is an amazing dentist, i hate going to the dentist so as soon as she began working that dental tool near my teeth, i began hyperventilating and crying...after five minutes, she let me go which was fine with me considering that i wasn't camera ready...for one thing, i didn't even fucking brush my hair, number 2, i was wearing my coke bottles, number 3, i had beef jerky pieces of meat throughout my teeth cause i was chewing on beef jerky on the way to her office, and lastly, i looked like a crack whore....
hopefully, next week will be a better week for me...xoxoxo....
so was it really a totally nasty cut? yes...it really was...and was i prolly being uber super dramatic? the answer to that would also be an unequivocal yes...but if i wasn't dramatic, how else would i get my fiance to owe me his life?
one might say i'm manipulative and conniving so that i can get my own way and my response would be...yes, yes, that's true too...
honestly, i was glad when the bleeding stopped...note to self...make sure a blade isn't a pen before i attempt to click on it...i swear...i'm sooo dumb sometimes...
i am totally not having a good day today...for one thing, i'm having women issues which also sucks...it made me miss out on cinco de mayo which is like my fave holiday next to halloween where i get to dress up like a skank and everyone knows it...cinco de mayo is also one of those skanky holidays where u dress up as a skank and as long as you're wearing red, green, and white, it's okay...and u get to drink margaritas and blame looking skanky on being drunk...
so last nite, i had to go to my art class which has been uber amazing...i've been making crap art...i have yet to finish a piece cause i'll make something and realize, it's crap...last nite, as i was waiting for my class to start, these little kids [between the ages of 5 to 8] came out of their class with their artwork and their art looked like crap too...but what's really sad is that their crappy artwork looks sooo much better than the stuff i've been doing and at least they're actually painting their own artwork vs. i'm in this collage class where i just take pictures of stuff and glue it together and it still looks like totally crappy...and i guess the kids have an excuse for their crappy artwork...they're fucking KIDS...while i'm like 30...u know, adult age...i swear...i sometimes really hate myself...i'm worthless...i can't even do well in an art class although last week, one of my classmates told me my artwork was inspiring...i began laughing...if inspiring means painting hot pink on a canvas and calling it art, then yes, i'm inspiring....
so i was like pmsing all last week and this week...i swear, i really feel badly for my fiance...i honestly don't know how he deals with my sorry ass...honestly, i would have dumped myself like a long ass time ago...i really don't deserve him...he's like this amazing person with a heart of gold and i'm a total monster...it's like the movie, "The Love Story" when Oliver looks at Jenny and says to her, "How can u see me and still love me?" well, if i was Jenny in the movie, my answer would have been, "cause you're totally hot and uber rich. what more can a girl want?"
honestly, i know better than to ask my fiance that question cause the answer he would most likely give me is,"you're right...you're totally crazy...i'm outta here." so maybe it's best i don't bring up that question...haha....
so this weekend will be spent catering a charity event in downtown LA...i plan on making :
Hors d’oeuvres
TUNA TARTARE ON A HONEY GLAZED WONTON TOPPED WITH AN
BRIE, PEAR, AND CRANBERRY QUESADILLA
BACON WRAPPED DATES STUFFED WITH ALMONDS DRIZZLED WITH A BALSAMIC REDUCTION
so i'm just in charge of making three appetizers so those were the three i came up with...yes, it'll be a busy weekend....
my last weekend was somewhat entertaining...i went to a golfing range and hit like some golf balls...that was fun and by fun, it totally sucked...i mean, seriously, how hard is it to hit a ball with a stick? i swear, if i had the proper training, i can be the next tiger woods...i kid...golfing sux and since i have hardcore ADD [which i obviously diagnosed myself with since i don't have insurance so i have yet to have a professional diagnose me], hitting a billion balls one after another is utterly painful...on top of that, my fiance instructed me on wearing the glove thing on the wrong hand...so the entire time, i had this golf glove on my right hand vs. my left hand and i looked like a total idiot which caused me to go nuts cause i was embarrassed i wasn't fitting in with everyone else at the golfing range...let's just put it this way...golfing is not my forte...
the next day, my fiance shot some pics for my gf's dental practice...she wanted to use me as a model for one of her pics...i was supposed to pretend to be a patient which of course ended up being a bad idea...although my gf is an amazing dentist, i hate going to the dentist so as soon as she began working that dental tool near my teeth, i began hyperventilating and crying...after five minutes, she let me go which was fine with me considering that i wasn't camera ready...for one thing, i didn't even fucking brush my hair, number 2, i was wearing my coke bottles, number 3, i had beef jerky pieces of meat throughout my teeth cause i was chewing on beef jerky on the way to her office, and lastly, i looked like a crack whore....
hopefully, next week will be a better week for me...xoxoxo....
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