my last nite was spent watching indecent proposal...the movie stars robert redford who plays this billionaire who offers one million dollars to sleep with demi moore who is married to woody harrelson in the movie...so anyway, she ends up hooking up with robert redford with woody's consent and then woody and demi end up fighting and she ends up getting with robert redford and then they break up and she gets back with woody...and why would she do that? it's cause she's fucking needy and can't be alone...but that's another story...
so my thoughts on this movie was that it was great but totally unrealistic...my amigo "A" was like, "this movie is so much better than pretty woman" and he was like totally wrong....but don't get me wrong, everyone knows i'm a sucker for a movie in which the story line consists of some poor girl falling in love with some rich guy and she lives happily ever after cause she becomes accustomed to her rich lifestyle cause it takes her out of the ghetto and then she forgets where she came from and becomes a royal bitch...this is why movies like pretty woman and jersey girl [that 80's version and not that stupid modern version that stars ben affleck and jennifer lopez who btw is one of the worst actresses like ever] are like my fave movies...anyway, back to indecent proposal, it was a pretty decent movie...u get to see demi's one boob for most of it and like when woody makes out with her, he wipes off her lipstick all rough and then they like make out and do it...and before they have sex, they kinda like beat each other up...it was very interesting...
so anyway, the reason why i think indecent proposal is totally unrealistic is cause how often does some billionaire offer a million dollars for a one night stand? and seriously, if i was in vegas with my husband and some guy offers me a billion dollars, there is no way i would REJECT that offer...and on top of that, i'd make sure to get a divorce first so i won't have to split that million...and btw, if a million was deposited into their account, don't they have to pay taxes on that? like seriously...and another unrealistic part about the movie is that demi's husband was a total loser and so not hot...robert redford is like twice his age in the movie but is totally fine like some nice fine aged wine...give me some of that booty...i'd hit it for like $5...i kid, i would never do such a thing...i am happily engaged to the best fiance like in the world...[hey V...that was a shout out to u if u like ever even read my blogs]...another thing i found kinda lame about the movie is that one of the lines demi says is, "I am not for sale" and yet, she's the one who wants to hook up with him...she's a total hypocrite...and then she tries to blame her husband for being a whore by saying that she slept with robert for him...i'm like, good one...i'll remember to use that line if i'm like ever caught sleeping with a billionaire for money...which obviously would never happen cause i don't have that kind of luck nor do i look like demi moore...damn my life...
so why do i think pretty woman is a much better movie? well, for one thing, it's definitely more realistic...i mean, when i ever think i'm down on my luck and don't have money, i know i can always be a HOOKER...that's a realistic goal...and then if you're a hooker, there's more likelihood of meeting a rich guy, for example, hugh grant, which would actually be a dream come true cause he's not only rich, he's hot...and he gets hookers...so yeah, i'm definitely more into movies that can happen in real life...it gives all us ladies something to aspire to...
so if i were to rename the movie i just saw last nite, i'd call it..."The Perfect Proposal" ...or "A Girl's Dream Come True" or maybe even "One Night in Vegas and it was some good times and i just got myself a million dollars and is now officially the most expensive hooker...like ever"...dammit, why am i not hired to name movie titles? i swear, my fucking creativity goes to waste...
so anyway, i hit a tea party today and that was fun but all i could talk about was indecent proposal and how i hope it will happen to me when i hit vegas next month for my bachelorette party but somehow, i highly doubt that will happen...and of course, i'm kidding...and by kidding, not really kidding...HELLO, it's a fucking million dollars...honestly, i know i would give my fiance a call and this would be our conversation if i just got offered a million dollars by some rich ass douchebag:
Lo: hey honey, i'm in vegas and this like super rich guy wants to sleep with me for a million dollars.
V: uh...don't do it. we don't need the money.
Lo: oh...it's all staticky on the phone...i can't hear u clearly...did u just say u wanted me to sleep with him and i can keep the money all to myself? wow..baby, you're the best. [phone clicks]
so my fiance and i get back from the tea party [and yes, i dragged my fiance to an all girls tea party which he wasn't too thrilled about] and we watch Yes Man starring Jim Carrey...is it just me or is he just seriously fucking annoying as hell? so my movie review on Yes Man would be: DON'T WATCH THAT MOVIE. IT'S TOTALLY STUPID.
after the movie, we grabbed some sushi and now we're about to work on some wedding stuff...i swear, most productive saturday like ever!!!! xoxox.
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