okay...this past weekend, my fiance and i had our wedding at the sheraton...this was our itinerary:
Itinerary [*Valet your car. Let them know you’re here for the S*/H**** wedding. Valet will be comped.]
Lo
11:00 am pick up flowers
12:00 pm head over to Sheraton hotel
12:30 pm start setting up reception area
2:30 pm quick practice session with Kelly and practice dance routine
3:00 pm hair and make-up with k
5:30 pm eat something
K
3:00 pm do Lo’s hair and make-up at the sheraton
L and V [assisting: A, I, t, and l]
1:00 pm arrive at sheraton hotel
set up centerpieces, tables, escort cards/programs, table numbers, etc., * make sure we have four chairs for the string
quartet in the dining room and two stools for Kelly and his guitarist
A [assisting: l, n, and j]
1:00 pm arrive to Sheraton hotel
set up of candy bar [please bring cake stand]
Bridal Party [n, a, t, t, j, b]
1:00 pm assist either L, V, or A at reception area
5:30 pm hang out with Lo to make sure someone smacks her if she goes all bridezilla
K [assisting: T, B, A]
1:00 pm arrival at Sheraton hotel and set up
2:30 pm quick practice session with Lo and Vince
Cocktail hour: Greet Guests and have them sign guestbook and give out favors and escort cards/programs
6:00 pm N and L * 6:15 pm t and a * 6:30 pm j and b * 6:45 pm t and l
Photographer/jimmy
1:00 pm arrive at Sheraton hotel/take pictures of me getting my make up done, etc.
5:00 pm set up photo booth at reception
DJ/Christian
4:00 pm arrive at Sheraton hotel and set up
6:00 pm play cocktail mixed c.d.
7:00 pm bridal party entrance [parents: artic monkeys – baby I’m yours. Bridal party: when in rome – the promise. Lo and Vince: m.i.a. – paper planes]
7:15 pm first dance [Alicia keys – no one/timbaland – the way I are]…put strobe lights on when timbaland comes on
8:45 pm cake cutting [the archies: sugar sugar]
9:00 pm garter toss [mission impossible theme song]
9:10 pm tossing of the garter [m.c. hammer’s – can’t touch this]
9:20 pm bouquet toss [beyonce – single ladies]
10:00 pm dancing [make sure to play some prince, lady gaga, Britney spears, bel biv devoe (poison), vanilla ice,
michael Jackson (PYT), and any top 40 hip hop songs]/last dance song will be matisyahu (one day)]
String quartet
7:30 pm to 9:30 pm play music during dinner time
* please make sure to stop playing music during these times: 8:00 pm, 8:15 pm, 8:30 pm, 9:00 pm, 9:15 pm, 9:30 pm
Videographer/Jethro
5:00 pm arrive at Sheraton hotel and start filming
reception game plan
6:00 pm cocktail hour
7:00 pm bridal party entrance
7:15 pm first dance
7:25 pm vince rants, vince’s dad’s toast [champagne toast]
7;30 pm guests enter dining room/string quartet begins to play music/friend’s slideshow is played
7:35 pm dinner is served [Lo, N, J, and T changes into Chinese dresses]
7:45 pm lo and vince along with bridal party [n, t, j, a, t, and b walk around tables]
8:00 pm slideshow
8:15 pm toasts [a, n]
8:30 pm Lo’s video for vince
8:40 pm Lo changes into white short dress and N, J, T change into black party dress
9:00 pm Lo put on I <3 vince shirt/performance by Kelly
9:15 pm cake cutting
9:30 pm garter toss
9:45 pm bouquet toss
10:00 pm dancing
11:30 pm last dance
* will need: Table for candy bar, table for photographer, head table seating 6 people, 4 chairs for string quartet members, 2 chair stools for guitarists, table for guestbook, table for signing guests in with two chairs for workers, and table for wedding favors
*******************
so yeah..i had a lot on my plate...but luckily for me, i had a really good group of friends who made sure everything ran smoothly...i swear, i am truly blessed...
honestly, all i remember about the wedding was feeling incredibly nervous because i just wanted to make sure my guests had a great time...my fiance [he is still technically my fiance because we're not really getting married till oct. 15 in beverly hills...i need to hash out the pre-nup first before we get legally married...don't want my fiance taking ...u know, my juicy couture sweat pants and all clad pots and pans if we don't work out...i kid] and i had a hip hop dance routine for our first dance. it was choreographed by my good friend K...when we did our routine at the wedding, all i remember was counting the steps in my head and praying that i didn't trip over my wedding dress. oh yeah, my hair and make up was done by another good friend of mine...i'll call her K2. she did an uber fab job...she made me look like pretty...it was awesome.
during cocktail hour, our guests got to drink our signature cocktails which consisted of "the Lo" which was a strawberry lemonade with vodka" and "the vince" which was a peach iced tea with bourbon. we also had a make shift photo booth with costumes for our guests and a candy bar consisting of candies that my fiance and i like.
so anyway, after our first dance was done, our guests entered the dining room in which a string quartet started playing music...the string quartet was a gift from our best man, A. the string quartet was a genius idea....it really made my wedding classy....so THANK YOU "A"...you're da bomb!!!
we played our cliche baby slideshows, i had several wardrobe changes, and i also played a video i had made for my fiance in which i list several reasons why i love him...oh yeah...my maid of honor and best man also gave the best toasts there ever was...i swear, i can't wait to get my wedding video back so i can replay it...the only part of the wedding that made me upset was when our best man made his speech and the servers kept walking in front of him...i think that was the only time during the wedding where i felt bridezillaish and wanted to go ballistic on them but didn't want to start screaming my head off for fear they would start spitting on my guests' food so i kept my mouth shut...
oh yeah, the entree we had at our wedding was prime rib or vegetarian wellington...
i also sang a song for my fiance in which he later joins me turning it into a duet...and i swear, that was definitely the most nerve wracking thing i've ever done...for one, i have the worst voice known to man and what was really sad was that prior to my performance, i had weeks and weeks of vocal training and i still pretty much sucked and was out of tune...i mean, i was surprisingly much better than when i had started but yeah...i felt kinda bad for my guests who had to hear my screeching...luckily for me, i had two guitarists who were incredibly amazing and when vince came in to sing with me, it kinda saved my ass...
oh yeah, my youngest sister emceed the event and she was AMAZING!!! my bridesmaid T caught my bouquet so i hope she gets hitched real soon!!!
and the whole nite, since i was completely anxietied out, i didn't get to eat...finally around 10ish, i was able to sit down and eat my chocolate fudge wedding cake...i felt like i was in a whirlwind...
after the wedding was over at around 12 pm, i spent the next two hours cleaning up the place with the help of some friends. i also had to take one of my sisters home [i won't mention who] cause she was drunk and causing a ruckus and caused one of the security guards at the hotel to follow us around...so my fiance and i pack up our car with all of our wedding crap, take my sister home, and hit BCD tofu house at 2 am cause we were STARVING...we finally managed to get to bed at 4 am...
the next day, we went over our gifts and our friends were beyond generous...we got the best gifts ever which were loads and loads of cash...had enough money to like roll around in...or shoot some 80's rock video with...i kid...
i also got a sur la table gift card from our choreographer which is awesome...thanks K!!!
so the breakdown of the big ticket items for our wedding are:
$350 for bouquet, corsages, boutineres, and flower centerpieces
$1200 for wedding dress
$11,000 for venue
$1500 for engagement ring
$100 for wedding bands
$1000 for rehearsal dinner
$1000 for photographer
$360 for dj
$1000 for videographer
Best wedding there ever was: PRICELESS
so in total, we spent about $25K for our wedding and received about $24K in cash gifts so our wedding basically just cost us about $1K which is awesome for the best wedding there ever was...i got to have my dream dress, awesome rings, and get to spend the rest of my life with the best guy there ever was...
honestly, in looking back, i cannot imagine changing anything about my wedding...it was too beyond perfect...i got to share the day with everyone who is important to me and at the end of the day, that is all that ultimately mattered to me and my fiance...i didn't care to have that expensive dress [although i did go slightly over budget on my ghetto david's bridal dress] or the expensive ring...i'm honestly looking forward to getting seriously hitched to my best friend and honestly, the love of my life...so i can't wait till oct. 15 where everything falls into place...
we will be hitting the beverly hills city hall to get hitched at 10 am with my bridesmaid T and my good friend V and then we'll celebrate with lunch at crustacean's...i am sooo seriously excited!!!
**** so once again, THANK YOU to all my friends who made it out to our wedding and your generous gifts. you allowed V and i to seriously have the wedding of our dreams and we couldn't have done it without you and for that, we am forever grateful...xoxo.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Saturday, August 29, 2009
the best bridal shower there ever was...and i'm obviously being sarcastic
today was my bridal shower and i cannot even begin to describe how it all went down...i swear, sometimes i wonder why i'm not on a reality show...okay...this is basically the story of the best bridal shower there ever was and by best, i really mean, not really the best despite my bridal party's best efforts to give me an unforgettable bridal shower...they just couldn't control nor anticipate what one of the huynh sisters would end up doing...so here i begin my story and i wish it really was one of those fake stories, but no, it's really what really happened...
so i wake up this morning all excited about my bridal shower...my sister "N" told me she was going to pick me up at 10:30 am so by 10 am, i was dressed and ready to go...i couldn't contain my excitement...i had seventeen gfs who were attending and i was seriously excited to see everyone...
so around 10 am, i get a call from "N" asking me if i had accidentally taken back a dress that i given her awhile back...i respond no and tell her i'm ready to go...
around 10:30 am, i call "N" and begin to feel that something was not right...around 10:50 am, my other sister "L" calls me that they're now on their way to pick me up which kind of annoys me cause i had told all my friends to be at castaway [the buffet joint we were having the bridal shower] at 11 am and i hate HATE to be late. so "N" picks me with "L" in "L's" car which makes me think something is really wrong.
in the car, N informs me that L had puked in her car that morning and that was why they were driving L's car...i'm like...WTF??? L then informs me that she was still drunk...so i'm like...that's great....like seriously???? so L is all hungover in the car and i'm like...this is going to be great....
so as we're driving up the hill to castaway, there's this poster of smokey the bear with a sign stating that there was "EXTREME" fire danger due to the crazy fires that has been going on in the mountains...i'm like...my bridal party is getting more fabulous with each minute...
so we finally get to the restaurant at 11:20 am and of course all my friends are there which leaves me feeling really bad cause i had told all the girls to be there on time and i was fucking late which i really hate to be...
so we get settled in the restaurant and get our grub on...i proceed to just get clams, shrimp, and crab legs because i believe in getting my money's worth at a buffet...i managed to clean up two full plates and quickly wished i was bulimic so i can throw up what i just ate but alas, i'm not...
so in the midst of eating, "N" decides to play bridal shower games...she thought it was a genius idea to let "L" come up with the questions and have the girls answer them...so the first question "L" comes up with [and i'm not even fucking joking here] was:
1. what was Lo's ex-husband's name?
all the girls at the table stop whatever they're doing and is in complete shock at the first question...i even overheard one girl saying, "OMG...i cannot believe she just brought up Lo's divorce!!!!" and another one saying, "did she seriously just ask that?" i quickly looked at everyone's faces and there was this look of horror and shock and disbelief from the group...watching everyone feel bad for me made me start laughing but it wasn't that normal laughter where i was giggling...instead, i just found the whole situation crazy funny that i started to laugh but no sound was coming out and instead, tears began to roll down my face...and when this happened, all the girls thought i was upset at my sister for bringing up such a taboo topic...it felt very "Rachel Getting Married" where ann hathaway just brings up taboo topics while everyone is in a jovial mood ....the girls begin to ask me if i was okay...and of course i was...honestly, i'm not the type who would ever get mad at my sister and i know she didn't say that intentionally to hurt me and quite honestly, i wasn't hurt but found it really amusing...
basically, "L" was supposed to come up with questions pertaining to me and my fiance such as "what does Lo and V like to do together?" or "where did V take Lo on their first date?" but of course, that wouldn't be my sister...
she would ask questions like, "what's Lo's middle name?" or "what is Lo's nickname in High school?" and i would look at the girls faces and they would have these blank expressions cause who in the world would even know the answers to such questions?
so after the games, i got to open my presents and that was really fun...and although we were supposed to leave at 2 pm, at 1:30 pm, "L" decides that she needs to puke so i look at the girls and tell them, "okay guys...i gotta go...one of the huynh sisters need to throw up...thanks for coming! and see u guys at the wedding!!!"
and that is the story of the best bridal shower there ever was...i swear, i can't imagine my bridal shower, u know, going smoothly...and at the end of the day, it reminds me why i love my sisters...they truly amuse me...
btw...to my sister "N"...thanks for hosting the event! the location was awesome despite the fire danger and the potential of u know, dying up there in the hills...
to "J"...thanks for making all those awesome bridal shower favors...
to "T"...thanks for all those cool prizes...
to "L"...thanks for really making my bridal shower uber memorable and u better not be drunk at my wedding...considering that you'll be emceeing the event that night...
and of course, to all my gfs who made it out and attempted to make it a classy event and even that couldn't save my dignity...oh yeah, and thanks for all the awesome presents...u guys are tooo freakin generous!!!
xoxox....
so i wake up this morning all excited about my bridal shower...my sister "N" told me she was going to pick me up at 10:30 am so by 10 am, i was dressed and ready to go...i couldn't contain my excitement...i had seventeen gfs who were attending and i was seriously excited to see everyone...
so around 10 am, i get a call from "N" asking me if i had accidentally taken back a dress that i given her awhile back...i respond no and tell her i'm ready to go...
around 10:30 am, i call "N" and begin to feel that something was not right...around 10:50 am, my other sister "L" calls me that they're now on their way to pick me up which kind of annoys me cause i had told all my friends to be at castaway [the buffet joint we were having the bridal shower] at 11 am and i hate HATE to be late. so "N" picks me with "L" in "L's" car which makes me think something is really wrong.
in the car, N informs me that L had puked in her car that morning and that was why they were driving L's car...i'm like...WTF??? L then informs me that she was still drunk...so i'm like...that's great....like seriously???? so L is all hungover in the car and i'm like...this is going to be great....
so as we're driving up the hill to castaway, there's this poster of smokey the bear with a sign stating that there was "EXTREME" fire danger due to the crazy fires that has been going on in the mountains...i'm like...my bridal party is getting more fabulous with each minute...
so we finally get to the restaurant at 11:20 am and of course all my friends are there which leaves me feeling really bad cause i had told all the girls to be there on time and i was fucking late which i really hate to be...
so we get settled in the restaurant and get our grub on...i proceed to just get clams, shrimp, and crab legs because i believe in getting my money's worth at a buffet...i managed to clean up two full plates and quickly wished i was bulimic so i can throw up what i just ate but alas, i'm not...
so in the midst of eating, "N" decides to play bridal shower games...she thought it was a genius idea to let "L" come up with the questions and have the girls answer them...so the first question "L" comes up with [and i'm not even fucking joking here] was:
1. what was Lo's ex-husband's name?
all the girls at the table stop whatever they're doing and is in complete shock at the first question...i even overheard one girl saying, "OMG...i cannot believe she just brought up Lo's divorce!!!!" and another one saying, "did she seriously just ask that?" i quickly looked at everyone's faces and there was this look of horror and shock and disbelief from the group...watching everyone feel bad for me made me start laughing but it wasn't that normal laughter where i was giggling...instead, i just found the whole situation crazy funny that i started to laugh but no sound was coming out and instead, tears began to roll down my face...and when this happened, all the girls thought i was upset at my sister for bringing up such a taboo topic...it felt very "Rachel Getting Married" where ann hathaway just brings up taboo topics while everyone is in a jovial mood ....the girls begin to ask me if i was okay...and of course i was...honestly, i'm not the type who would ever get mad at my sister and i know she didn't say that intentionally to hurt me and quite honestly, i wasn't hurt but found it really amusing...
basically, "L" was supposed to come up with questions pertaining to me and my fiance such as "what does Lo and V like to do together?" or "where did V take Lo on their first date?" but of course, that wouldn't be my sister...
she would ask questions like, "what's Lo's middle name?" or "what is Lo's nickname in High school?" and i would look at the girls faces and they would have these blank expressions cause who in the world would even know the answers to such questions?
so after the games, i got to open my presents and that was really fun...and although we were supposed to leave at 2 pm, at 1:30 pm, "L" decides that she needs to puke so i look at the girls and tell them, "okay guys...i gotta go...one of the huynh sisters need to throw up...thanks for coming! and see u guys at the wedding!!!"
and that is the story of the best bridal shower there ever was...i swear, i can't imagine my bridal shower, u know, going smoothly...and at the end of the day, it reminds me why i love my sisters...they truly amuse me...
btw...to my sister "N"...thanks for hosting the event! the location was awesome despite the fire danger and the potential of u know, dying up there in the hills...
to "J"...thanks for making all those awesome bridal shower favors...
to "T"...thanks for all those cool prizes...
to "L"...thanks for really making my bridal shower uber memorable and u better not be drunk at my wedding...considering that you'll be emceeing the event that night...
and of course, to all my gfs who made it out and attempted to make it a classy event and even that couldn't save my dignity...oh yeah, and thanks for all the awesome presents...u guys are tooo freakin generous!!!
xoxox....
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
my bachelorette party aka the weekend that never happened
okay...this past weekend, i hit vegas for my bachelorette party...i would like to also acknowledge that everything i'm about to talk about NEVER really happened...everything i'm about to say is a complete fabrication of the events on this trip...so on that note, in order to protect all parties, names will be changed in order to protect the innocent...so instead of using my friends names who did or "did not" go on this trip, i will give them stripper names...so here are the names: Destiny, Candy, Diamond, Savannah, Trinity, Cherry, Angel, Raven, Crystal, Roxy, Houston, Porshe.
okay...so i'll start from the beginning...
so my maid of honor, let's call her "Destiny" sends out an email with regards to our itinerary for the trip:
Hi everyone,
I think I might be missing some people, so could you forward to people I might've missed...
So here's the itinerary for this upcoming weekend:
Friday:
10 pm: American Storm strip show. Bring dollar bills!!! I'm assuming everyone will make it to Vegas by at least 10 pm, and if you will not you have to let me know. Tix are $55 each and I need to buy them in advance, so PLEASE let me know.
Midnight: Tao. "Candy" has already put us on the list. If you don't make it by 10 pm, I'll leave a room key at the desk so you can at least meet up with us at the club.
The color theme for tonight is pink.
Saturday:
11 am: Brunch at Bellagio.
1-4 pm: Pool, shopping, spa, gambling, whatever you want to do - it's your own free time. Everything else is mandatory for everyone to go to.
4-7 pm: Getting ready, pre-drinking.
7-9 pm: Dinner at Bouchon at Venetian. Be prepared to pay for whatever you ordered and we'll split Lo's meal.
9 pm - people get tired: Limo taxi to XS nightclub
Color theme is black and Lo wears white. We'll also have some games for Lo to play throughout the night.
Sunday:
11 am: Check out and pho.
I will be purchasing 2 big bottles of Grey Goose from CostCo with cranberry juice, soda water, and red bull - I'll add it to the room charges. Let me know if there's anything else you would like.
I think that's about it - "Candy" and "Diamond", let me know if I've missed anything. Should be fun! Looking forward to seeing everyone this Friday!
"Destiny"
**********
so based on the itinerary, i was definitely looking forward to the trip...it was very well thought out and planned...
so friday morning, i hit portals to grab some cheese and guava rolls for the trip and my fiance, let's call him "V", drops me off at my mom's house...my sisters and two friends are already there waiting for me...
we jump into the car and Destiny drives us to Vegas...from Glendale, we get to Vegas in record time...seriously took us only 3 1/2 hours...i was like..this is a great beginning to my bachelorette party...we check in at 3 pm and walk into our venetian suite where we had gotten adjoining suites.
we immediately throw crap loads of ice into one of the bathtubs in order to get keep our drinks cold and then we lounge around and wait for the rest of the other girls to show up...
around 7ish pm, i get a call from Diamond letting me know her flight has been delayed and she may not make it to the strip joint and if i could try to sell her ticket to one of the other girls...i informed her that everyone had prepaid their tix so that would be impossible...she tells me she'll try to make it on time...
around 8ish...no one has arrived yet and we had to leave at 9 pm to make it to American Storm...half of the girls informed me they were on their way and was almost there...two other girls were still flying in...i'm beginning to freak out cause i begin to get my women issues so i began pmsing and stressing out about people not being here....
Diamond manages to arrive around 9ish pm and forgot my veil... she later manages to save the day when she hits frederick's of hollywood and manages to macgyver a veil thong into my pretty little head piece....
....okay...and this is where i need to end my bachelorette party story...or at least give a very concise version of our trip...
so basically, i ended up wearing a veil thong [unknowingly] for my bachelorette party...some ladies get really trashed...one girl goes out of commission for most of the trip cause she thought it was a great idea to start hitting the bottle at 3 pm on friday...one girl gets found in our bathroom with her panties around her ankles and needs to get carried back to bed [i know...that's not as exciting as finding a tiger in the bathroom]...one bachelorette got pulled on stage at a strip show and basically got molested to the amusement of her friends...one girl is busy flirting with our fifty-year-old taxi cab driver named manfred who btw is married...cougars were on the pounce...men get manhandled...we get VIP treatment at TAO and XS...we hit the bellagio buffet which is obviously a bad idea when you're hungover...we learned that mixing champagne, wine, a bj shot, patron, vodka shots, absinthe in the course of 2 hours is not the best thing to do...and somehow, we all made it back to LA in one piece....oh yeah...no names to be mentioned, but one bachelorette got several marriage proposals...too bad they weren't indecent proposals cause she would obviously have been all over it....i kid...
oh yeah...so while all this partying is going on, my gf informs me on friday nite that my fiance is puking at his bachelor party...so i immediately call the boys in charge of his bachelor party and threaten them...i basically told them that if my fiance got hurt in any way, shape, or form, they would be dead to me...apparently, some people [aka my fiance] can't handle LA...
so i guess that's basically it...it was the best bachelorette party like ever...i got a chance to reconnect with my gfs...we got to talk about boys, life, and douchebags...it was great...now i'm totally looking forward to my bridal shower...xoxo....
okay...so i'll start from the beginning...
so my maid of honor, let's call her "Destiny" sends out an email with regards to our itinerary for the trip:
Hi everyone,
I think I might be missing some people, so could you forward to people I might've missed...
So here's the itinerary for this upcoming weekend:
Friday:
10 pm: American Storm strip show. Bring dollar bills!!! I'm assuming everyone will make it to Vegas by at least 10 pm, and if you will not you have to let me know. Tix are $55 each and I need to buy them in advance, so PLEASE let me know.
Midnight: Tao. "Candy" has already put us on the list. If you don't make it by 10 pm, I'll leave a room key at the desk so you can at least meet up with us at the club.
The color theme for tonight is pink.
Saturday:
11 am: Brunch at Bellagio.
1-4 pm: Pool, shopping, spa, gambling, whatever you want to do - it's your own free time. Everything else is mandatory for everyone to go to.
4-7 pm: Getting ready, pre-drinking.
7-9 pm: Dinner at Bouchon at Venetian. Be prepared to pay for whatever you ordered and we'll split Lo's meal.
9 pm - people get tired: Limo taxi to XS nightclub
Color theme is black and Lo wears white. We'll also have some games for Lo to play throughout the night.
Sunday:
11 am: Check out and pho.
I will be purchasing 2 big bottles of Grey Goose from CostCo with cranberry juice, soda water, and red bull - I'll add it to the room charges. Let me know if there's anything else you would like.
I think that's about it - "Candy" and "Diamond", let me know if I've missed anything. Should be fun! Looking forward to seeing everyone this Friday!
"Destiny"
**********
so based on the itinerary, i was definitely looking forward to the trip...it was very well thought out and planned...
so friday morning, i hit portals to grab some cheese and guava rolls for the trip and my fiance, let's call him "V", drops me off at my mom's house...my sisters and two friends are already there waiting for me...
we jump into the car and Destiny drives us to Vegas...from Glendale, we get to Vegas in record time...seriously took us only 3 1/2 hours...i was like..this is a great beginning to my bachelorette party...we check in at 3 pm and walk into our venetian suite where we had gotten adjoining suites.
we immediately throw crap loads of ice into one of the bathtubs in order to get keep our drinks cold and then we lounge around and wait for the rest of the other girls to show up...
around 7ish pm, i get a call from Diamond letting me know her flight has been delayed and she may not make it to the strip joint and if i could try to sell her ticket to one of the other girls...i informed her that everyone had prepaid their tix so that would be impossible...she tells me she'll try to make it on time...
around 8ish...no one has arrived yet and we had to leave at 9 pm to make it to American Storm...half of the girls informed me they were on their way and was almost there...two other girls were still flying in...i'm beginning to freak out cause i begin to get my women issues so i began pmsing and stressing out about people not being here....
Diamond manages to arrive around 9ish pm and forgot my veil... she later manages to save the day when she hits frederick's of hollywood and manages to macgyver a veil thong into my pretty little head piece....
....okay...and this is where i need to end my bachelorette party story...or at least give a very concise version of our trip...
so basically, i ended up wearing a veil thong [unknowingly] for my bachelorette party...some ladies get really trashed...one girl goes out of commission for most of the trip cause she thought it was a great idea to start hitting the bottle at 3 pm on friday...one girl gets found in our bathroom with her panties around her ankles and needs to get carried back to bed [i know...that's not as exciting as finding a tiger in the bathroom]...one bachelorette got pulled on stage at a strip show and basically got molested to the amusement of her friends...one girl is busy flirting with our fifty-year-old taxi cab driver named manfred who btw is married...cougars were on the pounce...men get manhandled...we get VIP treatment at TAO and XS...we hit the bellagio buffet which is obviously a bad idea when you're hungover...we learned that mixing champagne, wine, a bj shot, patron, vodka shots, absinthe in the course of 2 hours is not the best thing to do...and somehow, we all made it back to LA in one piece....oh yeah...no names to be mentioned, but one bachelorette got several marriage proposals...too bad they weren't indecent proposals cause she would obviously have been all over it....i kid...
oh yeah...so while all this partying is going on, my gf informs me on friday nite that my fiance is puking at his bachelor party...so i immediately call the boys in charge of his bachelor party and threaten them...i basically told them that if my fiance got hurt in any way, shape, or form, they would be dead to me...apparently, some people [aka my fiance] can't handle LA...
so i guess that's basically it...it was the best bachelorette party like ever...i got a chance to reconnect with my gfs...we got to talk about boys, life, and douchebags...it was great...now i'm totally looking forward to my bridal shower...xoxo....
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
4th of july weekend and the greatest day ever
i spent last weekend watching the hangover on friday and my review on that movie...i loved it. saturday was spent watching transformers...my review on that movie...it was fucking stupid...i swear, an hour into it, i fell asleep and when i woke up in the movie theater, i was damn pissed it was not over...i fucking hate it when that happens...like a movie bores me to the point where i'm totally taking a nap in the theater and then i wake up, and it's still ongoing for like another hour...i would have to vote megan fox as like the worst actress of our times...she's hawt but her acting is soo bad, she begins to get really annoying...all she basically does is talk in this little baby wannabe marilyn monroe out of breath voice and then it gets old...like really quick...so anyway, after an hour into the movie, i knocked out cause there's only so many transformers or robot things transforming into hot girls or cars that i can take and then i wake up to stupid megan fox crying cause shia is like asleep or something and she's like..."i love u. i love u." and i'm like, okay...and of course i think he wakes up and more transformer shit happens and then the movie ends...i was like...was there even a fucking storyline for this movie? did anyone even die? so yeah...i wish i could get my money back or at least the 3 hours i spent watching that stupid movie...
also, saturday was spent having bbq at my mom's house and then coming home and working on more wedding stuff...
sunday was spent being overly productive...i got thai food with my fiance, my sister "L" and her bf "M"...we then hit ikea to get a dresser...i wanted to get the $39.99 dresser and my fiance wanted to get the $299.99 dresser...i was like, there's no way in hell we're paying close to $300 for a dresser at ikea so i can have a drawer to throw my granny panties in...HELLO, we're not all bougeouis [shit, i can't spell that word]...so we spend like half an hour debating which dresser to get and of course, i end up getting my way at the end and we got the cheaper dresser...got home and my fiance puts the dresser together with his shirt off...i wanted to take pics of him putting the dresser together so i can post it on facebook but he was against the idea...anyway, while putting this dresser together, i assisted by handing him nails and wondered why we couldn't get a contractor for this...putting furniture together is like boring as hell...
after like an hour, we get our new fancy dresser...the dresser had like 2 big drawers and 1 small drawer...i took the two big drawers and gave my fiance the one small drawer...what can i say? i'm a giver...
we then get ready to go to catch death cab for cutie at the hollywood bowl...i spend an hour attempting to give myself the hilary duff/rachel bilson look that i found on youtube...and i just end up looking like a stupid hoe...but whatever...i wear my new white skinny zipper jeans that i just got at madewell and my new pair of gladiator sandals my fiance got me...i looked very tres chic and by tres chic...a stupid hoe...damn that make-up...so i'm trying to talk my fiance into paying for make-up classes for me cause apparently, i'm really bad at it...apparently, he doesn't think spending $3K for a week of make-up classes is such a fabulous idea...he's prolly right cause like most of my hobbies, i'm into it for like a week and then get bored...
okay...back to the concert...so we hit the concert and some band called the pornographers come on...they SUCKED...and then tegan and sara comes on and i guess they're some lesbian sister group...they were okay....and then death cab for cutie comes on and they're FUCKING AMAZING!!!! i crazy love them...i actually saw them at the wiltern like five years ago...while watching the show, i ate a vietnamese french sandwich and my friend K gave me a frozen bottled water which was nuts cause i would basically have to wait every 15 minutes for some water to defrost so i can take like one sip...i was uberly upset about that...i look at my fiance and i'm like..."I NEED A DRINK"...and he like ignores me...it's great...so he attempts to warm the frozen bottle between his legs and i'm going nuts cause i'm dehydrated from the sandwich and from the salty prosciutto and salami that i had wolfed down earlier...okay...so back to the concert...the concert ends with fireworks...i swear, it was uber fab...
so after the concert, we start to leave and it was fucking nuts...i swear, u would think it'd be more orderly...but somehow, i managed to almost get into an insane fight...so anyway, i'm walking downhill and some stupid bitch pushes against me...i turn around and i'm like, "stop being a stupid bitch...don't fucking push against me." the stupid bitch is then, "i'm sorry...everyone is bumping against me." i'm like, "what fucking people? the only fucking person pushing u is your stupid boyfriend. why are u being such a fucking douche? u don't fucking see me pushing people in front of me so why u have to do that?" i then give her the dirtiest stare i could muster...my fiance gets kinda worried cause this girl is like much taller than me and her bf is also super tall too and can prolly kick my ass real easily but i wasn't gonna back down...other people are now kinda staring at us but i'm too pissed and annoyed to care...her bf then says, "we're sorry...we didn't mean to." and i'm like, "don't fucking even talk to me...ur a fucking ASSHOLE and she's a total bitch." the girl then says, "yeah...i'm really sorry." i just turn around, ignore her, and then i proceed to walk off...honestly, i know they were prolly drunk and being stupid but i'm not gonna tolerate that kind of behavior...honestly, i was surprised they just didn't call me a bitch cause they could have easily kicked my ass...it would prolly take them like 2 seconds...unless of course my fiance steps in and then they could prolly beat us up real good in like 10 seconds...but anyway, so we end up shuttling back to the LA zoo and finally get home like an hour after the concert...i swear, that's prolly one of the reasons why i hate going to concerts...i get anxiety being around all those people...
so today is now tuesday...MJ's memorial was on television today...when his daughter paris spoke, totally made me wanna cry....
oh yeah...today is like the greatest day ever...i got an 8 piece chicken mcnuggets at mcDonalds and a small fries for lunch and my make-up brushes and 88 make up palette arrived...i'm beyond excited...i am one step closer to looking like a chola for my wedding...it's gonna be off the hook...
i will be spending this evening cooking pork chops for dinner and prolly working on more wedding stuff...xoxo.
also, saturday was spent having bbq at my mom's house and then coming home and working on more wedding stuff...
sunday was spent being overly productive...i got thai food with my fiance, my sister "L" and her bf "M"...we then hit ikea to get a dresser...i wanted to get the $39.99 dresser and my fiance wanted to get the $299.99 dresser...i was like, there's no way in hell we're paying close to $300 for a dresser at ikea so i can have a drawer to throw my granny panties in...HELLO, we're not all bougeouis [shit, i can't spell that word]...so we spend like half an hour debating which dresser to get and of course, i end up getting my way at the end and we got the cheaper dresser...got home and my fiance puts the dresser together with his shirt off...i wanted to take pics of him putting the dresser together so i can post it on facebook but he was against the idea...anyway, while putting this dresser together, i assisted by handing him nails and wondered why we couldn't get a contractor for this...putting furniture together is like boring as hell...
after like an hour, we get our new fancy dresser...the dresser had like 2 big drawers and 1 small drawer...i took the two big drawers and gave my fiance the one small drawer...what can i say? i'm a giver...
we then get ready to go to catch death cab for cutie at the hollywood bowl...i spend an hour attempting to give myself the hilary duff/rachel bilson look that i found on youtube...and i just end up looking like a stupid hoe...but whatever...i wear my new white skinny zipper jeans that i just got at madewell and my new pair of gladiator sandals my fiance got me...i looked very tres chic and by tres chic...a stupid hoe...damn that make-up...so i'm trying to talk my fiance into paying for make-up classes for me cause apparently, i'm really bad at it...apparently, he doesn't think spending $3K for a week of make-up classes is such a fabulous idea...he's prolly right cause like most of my hobbies, i'm into it for like a week and then get bored...
okay...back to the concert...so we hit the concert and some band called the pornographers come on...they SUCKED...and then tegan and sara comes on and i guess they're some lesbian sister group...they were okay....and then death cab for cutie comes on and they're FUCKING AMAZING!!!! i crazy love them...i actually saw them at the wiltern like five years ago...while watching the show, i ate a vietnamese french sandwich and my friend K gave me a frozen bottled water which was nuts cause i would basically have to wait every 15 minutes for some water to defrost so i can take like one sip...i was uberly upset about that...i look at my fiance and i'm like..."I NEED A DRINK"...and he like ignores me...it's great...so he attempts to warm the frozen bottle between his legs and i'm going nuts cause i'm dehydrated from the sandwich and from the salty prosciutto and salami that i had wolfed down earlier...okay...so back to the concert...the concert ends with fireworks...i swear, it was uber fab...
so after the concert, we start to leave and it was fucking nuts...i swear, u would think it'd be more orderly...but somehow, i managed to almost get into an insane fight...so anyway, i'm walking downhill and some stupid bitch pushes against me...i turn around and i'm like, "stop being a stupid bitch...don't fucking push against me." the stupid bitch is then, "i'm sorry...everyone is bumping against me." i'm like, "what fucking people? the only fucking person pushing u is your stupid boyfriend. why are u being such a fucking douche? u don't fucking see me pushing people in front of me so why u have to do that?" i then give her the dirtiest stare i could muster...my fiance gets kinda worried cause this girl is like much taller than me and her bf is also super tall too and can prolly kick my ass real easily but i wasn't gonna back down...other people are now kinda staring at us but i'm too pissed and annoyed to care...her bf then says, "we're sorry...we didn't mean to." and i'm like, "don't fucking even talk to me...ur a fucking ASSHOLE and she's a total bitch." the girl then says, "yeah...i'm really sorry." i just turn around, ignore her, and then i proceed to walk off...honestly, i know they were prolly drunk and being stupid but i'm not gonna tolerate that kind of behavior...honestly, i was surprised they just didn't call me a bitch cause they could have easily kicked my ass...it would prolly take them like 2 seconds...unless of course my fiance steps in and then they could prolly beat us up real good in like 10 seconds...but anyway, so we end up shuttling back to the LA zoo and finally get home like an hour after the concert...i swear, that's prolly one of the reasons why i hate going to concerts...i get anxiety being around all those people...
so today is now tuesday...MJ's memorial was on television today...when his daughter paris spoke, totally made me wanna cry....
oh yeah...today is like the greatest day ever...i got an 8 piece chicken mcnuggets at mcDonalds and a small fries for lunch and my make-up brushes and 88 make up palette arrived...i'm beyond excited...i am one step closer to looking like a chola for my wedding...it's gonna be off the hook...
i will be spending this evening cooking pork chops for dinner and prolly working on more wedding stuff...xoxo.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
adele and other stuff...xoxo.
last sunday was the worst sunday i've ever had...basically, the morning begins with my youngest sister calling me at 8 am...i'm like, it's fucking 8 am...what could she possibly want? so i pick up the phone and she wants to know if V and i wanna grab dim sum with the family...and i'm like...like, "right now?" and she's like, "yes...we'll be at the restaurant at 9ish."...and since i try to get as much family time in as i can, i was like..."okay."
so anyway, my family decided to go to this restaurant that i completely abhor cause the food is mediocre and the restaurant is even too dirty for my standards and i love love hole-in-the wall restaurants...so we order our food and as we're eating, there's a fucking cockroach crawling next to my sister "N" which in turn repulses the crap out of me and i quickly stop eating...at that point, i really just wanted to barf...but since i was there with my parents, i didn't want to start bitching to the manager cause my parents are the type of people that don't like to be confrontational to others and find it easier to just ignore the situation and leave...if it was just me and my fiance, i would have thrown a shit fit and told them i was gonna report them to the health department cause that was just straight up gross...my sisters thought i was being too overly dramatic...but honestly, i swear, since i've worked in restaurants before, like if there are any bugs that are out in the dining room, the kitchen is only 100 times worst...
so anyway, that was the beginning of my bad morning...
so around noon time, i ended up getting my women issues which royally pissed me off cause i was like two days early...yes, i count my days...i had an adele concert to go to that evening at the hollywood bowl and i began freaking out cause when i have my women issues, i basically become quite immobilized...i swear, the symptoms have been getting worse since i've been getting older...it's to the point where i'll actually need to take the day off from work...
so since i know it can get bad, i began freaking out and attempt to get someone to take my ticket to go in my place but to no avail. i then decide to take a nap for two hours and hoped that i would feel better...i also decided to take 6 ibuprofens...
so i manage to get up at 4 pm...and muster the energy to go cause my fiance said he wouldn't go to the concert without me...and i figured i should try to get up cause i was actually interested in seeing etta james cause i completely love her...
so anyway, we take the shuttle from the LA Zoo to the hollywood bowl with our friends F and A...as we're approaching the hollywood bowl, my friend F tells me that Etta James isn't gonna be there but Chaka Khan is gonna take her place...i was like, "Ha ha...i know you're kidding...i didn't fucking get my ass out of bed to fucking see chaka khan." so anyway, i look at the sign and it was true...CHAKA KHAN!! i'm like, WTF? can this day get any worse? so here i am, in fucking pain and about to spend my time watching chaka khan who i cannot even stand but whatever, i try to be a good sport about the whole thing...my fiance didn't even know who chaka khan is...she's obviously before his time...
so anyway, we get to the concert and eat F sandwiches which were amazing...i had made this pasta salad to go with F's grilled portobello roasted pepper chicken sandwiches in which we finish off with some lambrusco...i manage to actually feel somewhat okay...so, the opening act consisted of this woman in a tuxedo singing and dancing all schizoprehnically...it was great..and by great, the worst fucking thing i've ever seen in my fucking life...this woman proceeds to like sing like a nutcase and then paint a picture at the same time...i was like, WTF? i would have been more impressed by her if she like stood still and sang a song that didn't give me a headache...
and then chaka khan comes up and sings all her hits...before she sings some song about a fire...she's like..."i was a bad girl...a very bad girl. i used to partay...i put the P in partay...until one day my mom told me to stop and come home and pray and find god." before she tells us to used to partay, she tells us about how she had like some kids that she didn't take care of cause she was too busy partaying...so i'm like, instead of her mother telling her to like pray and find god, why didn't her mom just tell her, "i don't fucking care who u are...why don't u fucking come home and take care of your FUCKING kids and stop being a drugged up skanky hoe celebrity singer"? cause obviously, that's what i would have told my daughter...or i'd be like, "if u don't come home to take care of the kids u brought into this world, i'm gonna sell them." am i harsh and a bitch sometimes? i'd have to say yes...and then chaka khan ends her performance with "i'm every woman" which really upsets me cause for one, i HATE that song and i don't get how u can be "every woman"...what does that even mean???
so before adele is about to hit the stage, my medication has worn off and the pain hits... i begin to get really sweaty and immensely nauseated and begin to experience really intense bad cramps...so my fiance walks me to the restroom where the line is a mile long...i swear, could this day get any worse? i'm holding my stomach and really just wanna cry and go home..eventually, i was able to hit the restroom where i sit in there trying to deal with my pain...i finally make it back as she sings her second song and i pop more ibuprofen....the rest of my nite was spent trying to stay focused on watching adele [who btw is AMAZING even though she would flub her lines a lot] and dealing with my pain...my friend A told me that she heard that after you have a baby, the women issues pain subsides but i was like, "i'm not fucking getting my ass fucking preggers right now to find out if that's true or not." i swear, what if i knock out a kid and i get all fat and ugly with gnarly stretchmarks and my period pain is still intense? that would royally suck like big time...
anyway, so i was uberly glad when the concert was over...i just couldn't wait to go back home and get underneath the covers and lie in bed...and of course, before that could happen, we had to wait for our shuttle and we basically didn't get home till like another hour...
so yes, that was my SUNDAY which was officially the worst sunday of my life...
i am definitely now looking forward to this weekend...hopefully i'll finally be able to catch the Hangover with the love of my life [and yes, i'm referring to V], head over to my parents house for 4th of july, and catch death cab for cuties with my friends at the hollywood bowl on sunday...pretty crazy packed weekend...i just have to make it thru today...
i'm gonna make myself a peach iced tea for work and hopefully, the day goes by quickly...but somehow i doubt it...xoxo...
so anyway, my family decided to go to this restaurant that i completely abhor cause the food is mediocre and the restaurant is even too dirty for my standards and i love love hole-in-the wall restaurants...so we order our food and as we're eating, there's a fucking cockroach crawling next to my sister "N" which in turn repulses the crap out of me and i quickly stop eating...at that point, i really just wanted to barf...but since i was there with my parents, i didn't want to start bitching to the manager cause my parents are the type of people that don't like to be confrontational to others and find it easier to just ignore the situation and leave...if it was just me and my fiance, i would have thrown a shit fit and told them i was gonna report them to the health department cause that was just straight up gross...my sisters thought i was being too overly dramatic...but honestly, i swear, since i've worked in restaurants before, like if there are any bugs that are out in the dining room, the kitchen is only 100 times worst...
so anyway, that was the beginning of my bad morning...
so around noon time, i ended up getting my women issues which royally pissed me off cause i was like two days early...yes, i count my days...i had an adele concert to go to that evening at the hollywood bowl and i began freaking out cause when i have my women issues, i basically become quite immobilized...i swear, the symptoms have been getting worse since i've been getting older...it's to the point where i'll actually need to take the day off from work...
so since i know it can get bad, i began freaking out and attempt to get someone to take my ticket to go in my place but to no avail. i then decide to take a nap for two hours and hoped that i would feel better...i also decided to take 6 ibuprofens...
so i manage to get up at 4 pm...and muster the energy to go cause my fiance said he wouldn't go to the concert without me...and i figured i should try to get up cause i was actually interested in seeing etta james cause i completely love her...
so anyway, we take the shuttle from the LA Zoo to the hollywood bowl with our friends F and A...as we're approaching the hollywood bowl, my friend F tells me that Etta James isn't gonna be there but Chaka Khan is gonna take her place...i was like, "Ha ha...i know you're kidding...i didn't fucking get my ass out of bed to fucking see chaka khan." so anyway, i look at the sign and it was true...CHAKA KHAN!! i'm like, WTF? can this day get any worse? so here i am, in fucking pain and about to spend my time watching chaka khan who i cannot even stand but whatever, i try to be a good sport about the whole thing...my fiance didn't even know who chaka khan is...she's obviously before his time...
so anyway, we get to the concert and eat F sandwiches which were amazing...i had made this pasta salad to go with F's grilled portobello roasted pepper chicken sandwiches in which we finish off with some lambrusco...i manage to actually feel somewhat okay...so, the opening act consisted of this woman in a tuxedo singing and dancing all schizoprehnically...it was great..and by great, the worst fucking thing i've ever seen in my fucking life...this woman proceeds to like sing like a nutcase and then paint a picture at the same time...i was like, WTF? i would have been more impressed by her if she like stood still and sang a song that didn't give me a headache...
and then chaka khan comes up and sings all her hits...before she sings some song about a fire...she's like..."i was a bad girl...a very bad girl. i used to partay...i put the P in partay...until one day my mom told me to stop and come home and pray and find god." before she tells us to used to partay, she tells us about how she had like some kids that she didn't take care of cause she was too busy partaying...so i'm like, instead of her mother telling her to like pray and find god, why didn't her mom just tell her, "i don't fucking care who u are...why don't u fucking come home and take care of your FUCKING kids and stop being a drugged up skanky hoe celebrity singer"? cause obviously, that's what i would have told my daughter...or i'd be like, "if u don't come home to take care of the kids u brought into this world, i'm gonna sell them." am i harsh and a bitch sometimes? i'd have to say yes...and then chaka khan ends her performance with "i'm every woman" which really upsets me cause for one, i HATE that song and i don't get how u can be "every woman"...what does that even mean???
so before adele is about to hit the stage, my medication has worn off and the pain hits... i begin to get really sweaty and immensely nauseated and begin to experience really intense bad cramps...so my fiance walks me to the restroom where the line is a mile long...i swear, could this day get any worse? i'm holding my stomach and really just wanna cry and go home..eventually, i was able to hit the restroom where i sit in there trying to deal with my pain...i finally make it back as she sings her second song and i pop more ibuprofen....the rest of my nite was spent trying to stay focused on watching adele [who btw is AMAZING even though she would flub her lines a lot] and dealing with my pain...my friend A told me that she heard that after you have a baby, the women issues pain subsides but i was like, "i'm not fucking getting my ass fucking preggers right now to find out if that's true or not." i swear, what if i knock out a kid and i get all fat and ugly with gnarly stretchmarks and my period pain is still intense? that would royally suck like big time...
anyway, so i was uberly glad when the concert was over...i just couldn't wait to go back home and get underneath the covers and lie in bed...and of course, before that could happen, we had to wait for our shuttle and we basically didn't get home till like another hour...
so yes, that was my SUNDAY which was officially the worst sunday of my life...
i am definitely now looking forward to this weekend...hopefully i'll finally be able to catch the Hangover with the love of my life [and yes, i'm referring to V], head over to my parents house for 4th of july, and catch death cab for cuties with my friends at the hollywood bowl on sunday...pretty crazy packed weekend...i just have to make it thru today...
i'm gonna make myself a peach iced tea for work and hopefully, the day goes by quickly...but somehow i doubt it...xoxo...
Saturday, June 20, 2009
i am for sale and so is my fiance
my last nite was spent watching indecent proposal...the movie stars robert redford who plays this billionaire who offers one million dollars to sleep with demi moore who is married to woody harrelson in the movie...so anyway, she ends up hooking up with robert redford with woody's consent and then woody and demi end up fighting and she ends up getting with robert redford and then they break up and she gets back with woody...and why would she do that? it's cause she's fucking needy and can't be alone...but that's another story...
so my thoughts on this movie was that it was great but totally unrealistic...my amigo "A" was like, "this movie is so much better than pretty woman" and he was like totally wrong....but don't get me wrong, everyone knows i'm a sucker for a movie in which the story line consists of some poor girl falling in love with some rich guy and she lives happily ever after cause she becomes accustomed to her rich lifestyle cause it takes her out of the ghetto and then she forgets where she came from and becomes a royal bitch...this is why movies like pretty woman and jersey girl [that 80's version and not that stupid modern version that stars ben affleck and jennifer lopez who btw is one of the worst actresses like ever] are like my fave movies...anyway, back to indecent proposal, it was a pretty decent movie...u get to see demi's one boob for most of it and like when woody makes out with her, he wipes off her lipstick all rough and then they like make out and do it...and before they have sex, they kinda like beat each other up...it was very interesting...
so anyway, the reason why i think indecent proposal is totally unrealistic is cause how often does some billionaire offer a million dollars for a one night stand? and seriously, if i was in vegas with my husband and some guy offers me a billion dollars, there is no way i would REJECT that offer...and on top of that, i'd make sure to get a divorce first so i won't have to split that million...and btw, if a million was deposited into their account, don't they have to pay taxes on that? like seriously...and another unrealistic part about the movie is that demi's husband was a total loser and so not hot...robert redford is like twice his age in the movie but is totally fine like some nice fine aged wine...give me some of that booty...i'd hit it for like $5...i kid, i would never do such a thing...i am happily engaged to the best fiance like in the world...[hey V...that was a shout out to u if u like ever even read my blogs]...another thing i found kinda lame about the movie is that one of the lines demi says is, "I am not for sale" and yet, she's the one who wants to hook up with him...she's a total hypocrite...and then she tries to blame her husband for being a whore by saying that she slept with robert for him...i'm like, good one...i'll remember to use that line if i'm like ever caught sleeping with a billionaire for money...which obviously would never happen cause i don't have that kind of luck nor do i look like demi moore...damn my life...
so why do i think pretty woman is a much better movie? well, for one thing, it's definitely more realistic...i mean, when i ever think i'm down on my luck and don't have money, i know i can always be a HOOKER...that's a realistic goal...and then if you're a hooker, there's more likelihood of meeting a rich guy, for example, hugh grant, which would actually be a dream come true cause he's not only rich, he's hot...and he gets hookers...so yeah, i'm definitely more into movies that can happen in real life...it gives all us ladies something to aspire to...
so if i were to rename the movie i just saw last nite, i'd call it..."The Perfect Proposal" ...or "A Girl's Dream Come True" or maybe even "One Night in Vegas and it was some good times and i just got myself a million dollars and is now officially the most expensive hooker...like ever"...dammit, why am i not hired to name movie titles? i swear, my fucking creativity goes to waste...
so anyway, i hit a tea party today and that was fun but all i could talk about was indecent proposal and how i hope it will happen to me when i hit vegas next month for my bachelorette party but somehow, i highly doubt that will happen...and of course, i'm kidding...and by kidding, not really kidding...HELLO, it's a fucking million dollars...honestly, i know i would give my fiance a call and this would be our conversation if i just got offered a million dollars by some rich ass douchebag:
Lo: hey honey, i'm in vegas and this like super rich guy wants to sleep with me for a million dollars.
V: uh...don't do it. we don't need the money.
Lo: oh...it's all staticky on the phone...i can't hear u clearly...did u just say u wanted me to sleep with him and i can keep the money all to myself? wow..baby, you're the best. [phone clicks]
so my fiance and i get back from the tea party [and yes, i dragged my fiance to an all girls tea party which he wasn't too thrilled about] and we watch Yes Man starring Jim Carrey...is it just me or is he just seriously fucking annoying as hell? so my movie review on Yes Man would be: DON'T WATCH THAT MOVIE. IT'S TOTALLY STUPID.
after the movie, we grabbed some sushi and now we're about to work on some wedding stuff...i swear, most productive saturday like ever!!!! xoxox.
so my thoughts on this movie was that it was great but totally unrealistic...my amigo "A" was like, "this movie is so much better than pretty woman" and he was like totally wrong....but don't get me wrong, everyone knows i'm a sucker for a movie in which the story line consists of some poor girl falling in love with some rich guy and she lives happily ever after cause she becomes accustomed to her rich lifestyle cause it takes her out of the ghetto and then she forgets where she came from and becomes a royal bitch...this is why movies like pretty woman and jersey girl [that 80's version and not that stupid modern version that stars ben affleck and jennifer lopez who btw is one of the worst actresses like ever] are like my fave movies...anyway, back to indecent proposal, it was a pretty decent movie...u get to see demi's one boob for most of it and like when woody makes out with her, he wipes off her lipstick all rough and then they like make out and do it...and before they have sex, they kinda like beat each other up...it was very interesting...
so anyway, the reason why i think indecent proposal is totally unrealistic is cause how often does some billionaire offer a million dollars for a one night stand? and seriously, if i was in vegas with my husband and some guy offers me a billion dollars, there is no way i would REJECT that offer...and on top of that, i'd make sure to get a divorce first so i won't have to split that million...and btw, if a million was deposited into their account, don't they have to pay taxes on that? like seriously...and another unrealistic part about the movie is that demi's husband was a total loser and so not hot...robert redford is like twice his age in the movie but is totally fine like some nice fine aged wine...give me some of that booty...i'd hit it for like $5...i kid, i would never do such a thing...i am happily engaged to the best fiance like in the world...[hey V...that was a shout out to u if u like ever even read my blogs]...another thing i found kinda lame about the movie is that one of the lines demi says is, "I am not for sale" and yet, she's the one who wants to hook up with him...she's a total hypocrite...and then she tries to blame her husband for being a whore by saying that she slept with robert for him...i'm like, good one...i'll remember to use that line if i'm like ever caught sleeping with a billionaire for money...which obviously would never happen cause i don't have that kind of luck nor do i look like demi moore...damn my life...
so why do i think pretty woman is a much better movie? well, for one thing, it's definitely more realistic...i mean, when i ever think i'm down on my luck and don't have money, i know i can always be a HOOKER...that's a realistic goal...and then if you're a hooker, there's more likelihood of meeting a rich guy, for example, hugh grant, which would actually be a dream come true cause he's not only rich, he's hot...and he gets hookers...so yeah, i'm definitely more into movies that can happen in real life...it gives all us ladies something to aspire to...
so if i were to rename the movie i just saw last nite, i'd call it..."The Perfect Proposal" ...or "A Girl's Dream Come True" or maybe even "One Night in Vegas and it was some good times and i just got myself a million dollars and is now officially the most expensive hooker...like ever"...dammit, why am i not hired to name movie titles? i swear, my fucking creativity goes to waste...
so anyway, i hit a tea party today and that was fun but all i could talk about was indecent proposal and how i hope it will happen to me when i hit vegas next month for my bachelorette party but somehow, i highly doubt that will happen...and of course, i'm kidding...and by kidding, not really kidding...HELLO, it's a fucking million dollars...honestly, i know i would give my fiance a call and this would be our conversation if i just got offered a million dollars by some rich ass douchebag:
Lo: hey honey, i'm in vegas and this like super rich guy wants to sleep with me for a million dollars.
V: uh...don't do it. we don't need the money.
Lo: oh...it's all staticky on the phone...i can't hear u clearly...did u just say u wanted me to sleep with him and i can keep the money all to myself? wow..baby, you're the best. [phone clicks]
so my fiance and i get back from the tea party [and yes, i dragged my fiance to an all girls tea party which he wasn't too thrilled about] and we watch Yes Man starring Jim Carrey...is it just me or is he just seriously fucking annoying as hell? so my movie review on Yes Man would be: DON'T WATCH THAT MOVIE. IT'S TOTALLY STUPID.
after the movie, we grabbed some sushi and now we're about to work on some wedding stuff...i swear, most productive saturday like ever!!!! xoxox.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Stage Beauty: a movie review
my last nite was spent watching stage beauty starring billy crudrup and claire danes...this is my review:
the movie sucked like big time.
i really want my one hour and 49 minutes back...i swear, i stayed up past 2 am to watch that piece of crap...the movie is about how men used to play women roles back in the day and how claire danes character was all about getting some booty from billy crudrup's character but the problem is that he's gay...and so when she finally gets him into bed with her, instead of hooking up, he is just like caressing her face with his hands...i'm like wtf? and so the movie ends with him trying to kill her on stage and after the play is over, she still wants his booty but it doesn't happen...and then the movie ends...i'm like, wtf? i don't get it. so basically, don't waste your time watching it...
so now i'm up way too damn early on my saturday...
oh yeah...so last nite, i didn't go insanely nuts on my fiance when he finally got home from his work dinner...surprisingly...basically, i was somewhat of an adult and told him we needed to talk...i basically went over the situation with him and told him how i felt and how he needed to stand up for me if need be because i felt i didn't have a voice...i swear, it was the most adult conversation i've had...normally, i like to scream my head off, cry, and go into dramatics if i'm upset...he agreed and now we're cool...
today will be spent doing some wedding stuff and just chilling out...tomorrow will be spent grabbing dim sum with a junior high school friend to discuss her upcoming nuptials, a college graduation party to hit, and then dinner with a gf and her bf...yes, i'm back to triple booking...xoxo.
the movie sucked like big time.
i really want my one hour and 49 minutes back...i swear, i stayed up past 2 am to watch that piece of crap...the movie is about how men used to play women roles back in the day and how claire danes character was all about getting some booty from billy crudrup's character but the problem is that he's gay...and so when she finally gets him into bed with her, instead of hooking up, he is just like caressing her face with his hands...i'm like wtf? and so the movie ends with him trying to kill her on stage and after the play is over, she still wants his booty but it doesn't happen...and then the movie ends...i'm like, wtf? i don't get it. so basically, don't waste your time watching it...
so now i'm up way too damn early on my saturday...
oh yeah...so last nite, i didn't go insanely nuts on my fiance when he finally got home from his work dinner...surprisingly...basically, i was somewhat of an adult and told him we needed to talk...i basically went over the situation with him and told him how i felt and how he needed to stand up for me if need be because i felt i didn't have a voice...i swear, it was the most adult conversation i've had...normally, i like to scream my head off, cry, and go into dramatics if i'm upset...he agreed and now we're cool...
today will be spent doing some wedding stuff and just chilling out...tomorrow will be spent grabbing dim sum with a junior high school friend to discuss her upcoming nuptials, a college graduation party to hit, and then dinner with a gf and her bf...yes, i'm back to triple booking...xoxo.
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